Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
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Top comments
tony1891 22
Nothing a little duct tape won't fix.
Rinat_fml 26
You should listen to music while doing it then. Loud music.
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Comments (53)
Rinat_fml 26
You should listen to music while doing it then. Loud music.
Wizardo 34
Headphones could help too, providing you're by yourself though. Don't wanna be caught out.
MeanBeagle 22
then you won't hear someone coming. we have seen that Fml before
incoherentrmblr 22
It's like a circle, a never-ending circle...
tony1891 22
Nothing a little duct tape won't fix.
MattM95 16
Good point. Duct tape can fix anything.
orbit 22
Depending on how loud op is, they may need Gorrila Tape.
Ohshitdude 21
If you can't fix it, you're not using enough duct tape.
Pauline96_fml 20
A gag can work just as well
gatorclay97 28
...it also works if you have a 'partner'
annarcheer 19
hopefully its not the same for your partner or future partner.
sayyestothedress 24
If it was, it'd be a major turn off party in the bed
MzZombicidal 36
Well obviously, #12 :P
coming back in the future 30
You might have a funny voice.
Parvati48 15
Sorry OP what a bummer. :/
random_cashmere 25
Maybe try and find loud noises during "personal" time?
vicky_P 3
try to restrain yourself from making any noise as if you're in public or in a full house. that might make your "me time" more, like forbidden or something and might make it more pleasurable
KuzzBuzz3 15
sorry to hear op. wish you the best.
Ohshitdude 21
Ball gag.
WCARlover 35
Try it with earbuds in so you can't hear yourself?
redstone7693 29
then you can't hear if someone walks in on you