Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
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Top comments
StagGT 13
Well... shit.
sweetbliss3 37
well.. it's not the best thing to deal with but if she's not a dick she'll get over it.
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Comments (14)
StagGT 13
Well... shit.
sweetbliss3 37
well.. it's not the best thing to deal with but if she's not a dick she'll get over it.
RichardPencil 32
You can’t get over that.
Dave_Davington 34
It's not that hard to get over it. Unless of course, you have really low ceilings, in which case you've no choice but to roll or shuffle through it.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a pity situation.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, no! Don't tell me! Did you get... ...wait on it... ...dumped?
TCRII 30
It could be worse. Remember the FML about 69 and sudden explosive poop...
Akitakat 31
Shit happens! Unfortunate for you... the timing was impeccable! It could happen to anyone. Accidents are inevitable sometimes. I hope that she was understanding.
alycion 39
gesundheit
Ksweety_fml 27
what a shitty situation
menofsteel86 10
well just thank you really got the uncomfortable out of the relationship. some ppl it takes mouths to pass gas in front of a new relationship. now what is the worst that can happen??
Rabite 28
People need to get their buttholes under control!