Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML
Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me only two weeks after he moved into my place, because his massive German shepherd keeps running scared from my cat. Apparently, I ruined his dog by letting my cat be dominant to him, and it’s all my fault his dog is a wuss. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Wait until she finds out you've been training him to hump people's legs!
Yudith 28
As long as you treat your girlfriend like a human, it should be alright. Kudos for successfully teaching her cat to fetch.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Wait until she finds out you've been training him to hump people's legs!
Ambrily 27
One of my cats loves playing fetch. Nobody treats him like a dog, that's just the way he is. What else do you do with that cat to make her think you treat her like a dog?
Doom_Kitty 14
Don't treat cats like dogs, they don't learn the same way. Treat him like a cat and he can get well trained a lot of funny stuff. And your girlfriend should be thankful because cats only learn wenn they want to or need entertainment. So yeah: you did a good thing there for the cat but don't expect her to behave like a dog. He will not do that on the long run.
Yudith 28
As long as you treat your girlfriend like a human, it should be alright. Kudos for successfully teaching her cat to fetch.