Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics to take. One of the side effects of the antibiotics is diarrhea. I haven't coughed once throughout the infection, but I sneezed just as I was ready to go out to the shops and now I need fresh underwear. FML
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Top comments
intelliDude 7
Daiper time! Or just sit on the toilet all day and read FMLs.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I hope you're not the same person who pees every time she sneezes, that would really suck! Get well soon OP :/ FYL
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Comments (96)
katie887 2
Keep your self hydrated, have OTC anti diarrheal and a Benadryl, you will be fine!
AZbeastboSS 2
I've done this at school and I have never ever been noticed I am that good
ilovemydog98 8
You could always say pineapple when you have to sneeze. Your brain will be so confused by why you said it, it'll forget it had to sneeze. Works every time for me.
cheeseandvampire 1
Time to whip out the phone and get on FML!
sugoine 12
Ever heard of Immodium AD??? Or, if you're feeling really kinky, go for a colonoscopy...the prep will definitely take care of your ******** thru a screen door & not leaving tracks...
monkers 10
OP here. This might work if I wasn't pregnant. Sadly though I can't take anything to help. I asked my doctor. It was a no go.
EmoSunshine14 2
It's called stay in or right outside of the bathroom. :genius:
dishsoap10 9
When you're rummaging in the attic And your ass goes automatic: Diarrhea, diarrhea
jehc922 3
Try plugging your nose when you feel the need to sneeze... it helps.
mrssuarez2011 12
Take some Claritin
thedead28 1
diaper?