Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML
Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML
Today, my kids and I discovered the party hats from the party we just went to were infested with lice. FML
Today, 2 hours before a 13-hour flight, I found out I had head lice. I'm a 24-year-old woman. FML
Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I accidentally bumped into the fire alarm which set off a high pitched buzzing noise that could be heard throughout the entire dorm. It went on for at least two hours and none of the technicians could figure out how to turn it off. All the girls on my floor are mad at me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML
Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML
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Top comments
Betz 10
Run for your lice!
TheSuperSpicer 6
I have never heard of that trick. Did it work, OP?
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Comments (136)
Betz 10
Run for your lice!
patrickalamo 48
As you run did any notice that tangy zip in your step.
WritingWrongs 8
Just tell everyone you were trying to protect your thoughts from aliens.
chell1894 13
Mayo will kill the lice and all but it won't do anything to the eggs they left and more will just be back in a day or so. Should have just bought lice treatment to kill the lice and eggs.
alliewillie 22
#1 deserves a medal
zingline89 18
Should have just gone to the Mayo Clinic
hotshot2626 9
Just don't get near the "fire". *sniff sniff* "what smells like bacon?"
IAmJad 18
80- how does mayonnaise and fire smell like bacon?
hotshot2626 9
You're missing the crucial ingredient of hair and if too close, skin. I acknowledge the fact that it was a lame joke, however.
DictatorDom 5
This wouldn't happen if you moved out of the apartment building and into a louse
TheSuperSpicer 6
I have never heard of that trick. Did it work, OP?
IAmJad 18
Sounds gross right? There are special shampoos around which I personally would've chosen over ******* mayonnaise.
Ja777 9
That's what my dad used on my hair when I was young and got lice! It was absolutely disgusting, but it worked.
heyhooker 11
Mayonnaise will actually correct the damage that has been done to your hair. It's better then spending big bucks at the salon but Ive never heard of mayonnaise to kill lice..
TheSuperSpicer 6
Well, I know you can put a touch of baking soda in your shampoo and it takes all the grease out of your hair. It makes mine shine as well. So I don't think I'll be trying the mayo anytime soon, lol
Agony_Blackheart 2
I've tried vinegar before, it works. Just heat up some vinegar, let it cool down a little so it won't burn you, and wash your head with it. Then soak a towel with what's left, and wrap your hair with it for 10 minutes. It does wonders for the hair.
rncannon 18
I don't know about mayonnaise, but this camp I went to when I was little always checked for lice and if someone had it, they used peanut butter. Worked every time.
MedKits 9
It's supposed to suffocate them and it doesn't always work. Obviously it won't kill the eggs though.
buying_mace 5
It's the oil in the mayo that smothers them and makes them easier to comb out. We used Skin So Soft and Saran Wrap as a kid since I had super long hair when I got it.
ilovemydog98 8
I used listerine and seran wrap when i had it as a kid. It didn't smell as bad as vinegar probably would, but it worked really well. I had tried an over the counter thing and that didnt work so personally, I'd recommend listerine :) P.S. any kind will work
alive55 7
As a hair stylist. That is the best way to kill lice. It will suffocate them,that and also not washing your hair. Lice will not live on dirty hair.
klovemachine 24
Tell everyone that you heard of a new fashion style and you are trying it out :)
ee13lbp 4
This could actually be believable with all the shitty costumes today's celebs like lady gaga or nicki minaj wear -_-
drewcat21 0
I can't stand Lady Gaga.. -_-
greenie213 23
35 - But OP isn't famous. That crap only works when you're famous.
ee13lbp 4
50- true. I'd shit myself laughing if I saw someone walking down the street with a meat dress.
MrBond007_fml 6
I pulled the fire alarm, and I'm still waiting outside with a camera, so if you could just come outside so we can get this over with... The fire department is sort of in a hurry, so if you could please put a rush on that, thanks!
darwinism 30
If you were the real Bond, you would have started the fire, killed the lice, and saved the girl! Worst Bond comment. Ever!
MrBond007_fml 6
I am ashamed, not well enough thought out.
ee13lbp 4
94-trying to get first comment?
MrBond007_fml 6
Actually if you look at the time posted there were comments long before I commented. I was just tired, it was pretty late.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Aren't there shampoos for that? Why would you use mayonnaise?
theartists 5
Probably cheaper and less of a hassle. Y'know. Home remedies.
neilykins 29
Mayo is also a very good deep conditioner, it may not get rid of lice but it will give them shiny hair.
FlyMeAway 2
Well, those shampoos can be expensive, why spend good money on it while you can use a cheaper but still effective remedy?
chell1894 13
Because mayo won't kill the eggs and more will hatch with in a couple days.
Ja777 9
The mayo treatment worked for me!
FlyMeAway 2
Well, everything went away for me, eggs and all. Just saying.
XxskyelovexX 13
They could have just dyed their hair. It's a new look for them, and the harsh chemicals kill the alive lice and kills the eggs. Win Win situation (worked 3 years ago for me)
gc327072 31
Anyone else think 13's pic looks like Flo from the insurance commercials?
Clover83_fml 2
#41 mayo with a vinegar rinse will take care of the eggs too. But you still have to comb out the nits completely. Also, it is much healthier than those expensive shampoos that have harsh chemicals and don't always work.
loloalltheway 23
Well that must have made people curious but if I saw it I wouldn't think you had lice because I don't even know that trick....
loserboii 11
I don't know how to get rid of lice, but I would use Head & Shoulder shampoo. Or is that dandruff? Either way, mayonnaise in your hair and going outside for people to see you. FYL
theartists 5
Head and shoulders is for dandruff. From what i've heard, you use a different kind of shampoo. And the shampoo reeks.
gracehi 33
On the other hand, Head and Shoulders smells awesome. :D Especially now that they have different varieties.
theartists 5
14- But it won't help you at all with lice.. :l
xNephilim 19
There is a super expensive dandruff shampoo that helps with lice. I used it after I put the actual lice shampoo in and it helped get rid of all of them. Mayo works to a certain degree, it covers the lice in oil and suffocates them and makes them easier to comb out but the lice shampoo kills the actual live lice.
ee13lbp 4
119- I don't understand, if the mayo doesn't suffocate live life, then what does it suffocate? Dead ones?
ee13lbp 4
*lice
ICastillo 25
Saran wrap with mayo? I bet people don't know you have lice, but they probably think you guys are crazy and high on something.
itssnotfunny 24
If it's not killing lice it is absolutely nourishing the hell out of their hair. Or both. Winning all around.
gracehi 33
Lice: ******* bastards! I hate mayonnaise!
Hmk1994 8
Use teatree oil! Also very useful when trying to quit biting your nails.
bingababe 16
Teatree oil is a great preventative too!!! I put a few drops in the water spray bottle I use on my girls hair everyday and it works a treat. Also lice don't like dirty hair so I only wash their hair on Fridays now.
ee13lbp 4
bullshit. Lice don't give a **** about how clean or dirty a persons hair is, they just care about sucking your blood.
Maraudera 6
They do prefer cleaner hair, but it's not a reason to have dirty unwashed hair. Ew
ee13lbp 4
54- that's not to say they won't go on clean hair. imo Id rather try to keep those kids away from touching heads rather than **** around with unwashed hair.
tisvana20 6
The only people I've ever known that have gotten lice live either in dirty conditions or wash their hair once a week. Good lord, if I go more than two days without washing my hair it becomes greasy. Stop teaching your kids bad hygiene!
tisvana20 6
Also, lice don't care about dirty or clean hair. I they did, they'd go for unwashed hair because they'd go longer before being noticed, allowing them to reproduce more.
bingababe 16
Actually it isn't "bull shit". Lice can't grip to dirty hair as well as they can grip to clean hair. It's a proven fact. The only reason you should be washing your hair more than twice a week is if you use a **** load of product or have seriously oily hair. It's actually unhealthy for your hair as you're washing away the natural healthy oils.
ee13lbp 4
oh snap. I'll be sure to clean my hair only once a week from on so that I can be sure not to contract lice. Thanks for letting me know, you're so smart and not full of "bull shit"
rachelita2107 5
I dont put any products in my hair but if i don't wash it at least every other day it will be a greasy unmanageable mess.
bingababe 16
#79 My hair is the same. If I don't wash it atleast every second day it's an oil slick. It's not a bad thing it just comes down to everyones hair being different. #76 I'm not going to get into any petty Internet arguments but at 16 I don't really think you'd have a clue.
ee13lbp 4
81- At 29 I really think you might be to old for FML. Maybe you should spend more time washing your kids hair and less time on here.
ee13lbp 4
And you just said its not a bad thing not to wash your hair every two days. A comment or so back you just said washing your hair more than twice a week is bad for the 'natural oils' of your hair. You're contradicting yourself.
ambear26 14
Actually it's a bad thing to wash your hair everyday. It's better if you wash your hair every two days or so. And if you get greasy hair there's always dry shampoo or a product for that. But I don't like washing my hair everyday.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
How can anything be unhealthy for hair? It's dead cells.
bizarre_ftw 22
ee13lbp - 1) lice can move around better in clean hair, the thicker the hair the harder to move (think swimming in water vs. swimming in caramel) 2) the person said it's unhealthy to wash your hair more than twice a week UNLESS you use a lot of product or your hair is extra oily. This is true, because our hair does have natural oils etc... that shampoo strips away, without them our hair can look like a ball of wool that's had a run through the wash cycle and was given to a cat to play with You really need to learn to recognize when you're wrong and read more closely, both of these (especially the second) will end up being Very useful in life for you, trust me, in two years you'll be ****** if you haven't learned this already.
bizarre_ftw 22
Might I also mention that, as a guy, you probably have short hair (as a majority of guys do) and therefore have less experience with the finer points of haircare etc... The longer the hair the more work it takes (plus the whole social, media, gender role argument but I Really don't want to get into that nor start it on here)
HaraAishi 8
52, It's not bad hygiene to not was your hair for a week. I can't wash my hair every day or other day. My hair would dry out and look like shit. Besides, it's better for your hair to not wash it every day. You're stripping your hair of it's natural oils.
mrsquiggles6900 5
17. That is ******* nasty. Why the **** only wash their hair once a week? Gross. ._.
xNephilim 19
Okay people. Lice are animals. Any animal likes clean living spaces, but WILL deal with dirty ones if they have to. So basically, clean hair gives you more of a risk BUT it doesn't mean you won't get them with nasty hair. Another thing, like someone up there mentioned, is that lice can't grip greasy hair as well but even that doesn't mean you won't get them.