Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Warp1978 15
Don't feel bad, mouth noises are a major deal breaker for me as well. I just cannot deal with it.
Chazzster 32
We all have our areas of sensitivity. For different people, different things may be a dealbreaker. Dating is a process of finding a compatible person for a relationship. Not all matches are going to work out, most won’t. That doesn’t necessarily mean either is at “fault”. Dating is also cause for introspection - Is there something about me that is off putting? We all need to be honest with ourselves. Bad table manners is potentially one of those things. Being unreasonably picky is another. I wish well for both of you…
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Warp1978 15
Don't feel bad, mouth noises are a major deal breaker for me as well. I just cannot deal with it.
Chazzster 32
We all have our areas of sensitivity. For different people, different things may be a dealbreaker. Dating is a process of finding a compatible person for a relationship. Not all matches are going to work out, most won’t. That doesn’t necessarily mean either is at “fault”. Dating is also cause for introspection - Is there something about me that is off putting? We all need to be honest with ourselves. Bad table manners is potentially one of those things. Being unreasonably picky is another. I wish well for both of you…
bleachedraven 14
Loud mouth noises are disturbing 😅
diraven 15
Wasn't that an episode of Seinfeld?
Talented73 54
If someone is chewing their food with their mouth closed and it bothers you, YOU are the one with the problem. YDI
metroido 21
that sounds like a fml for HER