Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML
Today, I had a sneezing fit in the middle of the night, like 10 really great big sneezes, but then it was over and I went back to sleep. I got up this morning and turned the light on, and turns out I’d been sneezing blood over everything, the bed, walls, carpet, furniture, clothes, everything. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
Bless you.
nattlecakes 19
Hope you were in a safe place like home where you could avoid embarrassment and wash off quickly. It must have been a pain to clean up though. FYL
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Comments (35)
nattlecakes 19
Hope you were in a safe place like home where you could avoid embarrassment and wash off quickly. It must have been a pain to clean up though. FYL
ComoEsJuan 24
That's snot very good. I wish you well.
BlackHawkSavior 28
They say you can't run from your problems
PePziNL 20
You also can't run from your runs
tigerthepredator 16
Dude their must be some drug that you could get to help you. If not, and you're home alone, rip out a small piece of tissue. Then crumple it up. Then put it up the runny nose nostril. It will stop it from being runny.
Ichiya 29
The nose isn't the runny hole though. His problem is farther south.
xStarzx 11
Don't cause such a shitstorm
aliciousness116 16
You need to rest OP, runny noses can exhaust a person, give headaches and such. Take a steam and apply menthol like vaporubs on your chest to heal your cold.
booze_n_bitches 37
...did you read the FML? Lovely advice, but don't think that's the best cure for diarrhoea.
Dale_shackleford 13
Thanks for the common sense advice. No one ever would have thought that. - _ -
aliciousness116 16
Oh, my bad.
OptimusSlime 23
That happened to be once in school at the end of the day during class. It wasn't fun and was incredible uncomfortable. And not to mention disgusting. I was too embarrassed to say anything and I figured "well there's only 20 minutes left of class" I also didn't want to get known as the girl who ***** herself so I had to sit in it for the rest of the day. (Ew I know)
gordjess1 19
But then wouldn't you be know as the person who stinks like shit?
Lalala579121 28
And now you're known on FML as the girl who ***** herself and sits in it all day. Congratulations.
razoray9 22
OptimusSlime. The perfect username for someone like you. Disgusting
moodyreallyrocks 27
Just take it easy OP. At least until you better..
RickySleeves 20
Bless you.
alaen 17
Yikes. Maybe you weren't somewhere professional or important, huh?