Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
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Top comments
PugnaciousSaint 0
you went to the doc about you penis with your mom?
Bobissmall 13
OP could have been quite young, there isn't an age limit to write an FML
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Comments (167)
perdix 31
Thank God I gave mine to God. (Well, I didn't do it -- it was done for me when I was a baby.) Those things sound like they are a lot more trouble than they are worth.
cupcake112397 0
nice mom ya got there
roydawgg 3
what is it about foreskins in fml recently? and get a psychological evaluation because flowers do not laugh
chicago4star 0
Sounds like paraphimosis. I'm actually studying urology.
flapdoodle 2
*picks up phone* urology department, can you hold?
halogod69 0
rofl
mfjkr 10
Heeeerrrreeesssss AWESOME the gnome makes me light things on fire. >:D
AssDan 0
Your life isn't ******. You have a funny mom at least. Sorry about the small penis and **** turtleneck though. :D
Kitten16 0
Hahaha
gmen25 0
so does that mean ur dad is small too genetically speaking lol guess ur mom goes for the small ones
truehitman2010 0
why does your mom knows your penis is small?
trclocke 1
it's called phimosis, bro. makes me glad I was cut when I was born.