Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Skinny love
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
The chop
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Headshot
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
Top comments
PugnaciousSaint 0
you went to the doc about you penis with your mom?
Bobissmall 13
OP could have been quite young, there isn't an age limit to write an FML
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Comments (167)
ecoria1978 0
get a second opinion. most docs are truly ignorant about foreskin issues and claim circumcision is the best/only option when its most definitely not. most medical text books don't even show an intact penis let alone proper.care of one or common issues and how to fix them without resorting to circ.
Infernari 0
well said. if you go to a doctor that's not an ignorant moron, you'll probably be told to ********** more as it increases circulation and stretch your foreskin a little more each day. circulation and stretching will slowly expand the foreskin and it won't be too tight anymore.
DocBastard 40
I'm offended by the both of you. OP has a medical condition called phimosis. The treatment is...ready for it? Circumcision. Are either of you doctors? No? I'm truly shocked. You can both kiss my very well-educated ass.
Infernari 0
See, there's plenty of people out there like you who are ignorant morons. you're a doctor? Good for you. go back and get an education that's been updated in the last century. Second opinions exist for idiots like you. if you're a doctor, I hope you get your license revoked and lose everything in a malpractice suit. any doctor who says they're offended when someone suggests a a second opinion is a danger to society and should not be allowed near people. in very very rare circumstances circumcision may be necessary, but of the 8 people I've known with this condition, every one got the same stupid advice and only 1 of them was actually circumcised as a result. the other 7 went to a specialist and got advice on how to treat this without surgery. they all have healthy and wonderful sex lives now with their foreskin intact and unmutilated by vicious so-called doctors with god complexes like you.
marvin_fml 0
Doc, you've previously stated in other threads, that you regularly perform adult circumcisions. Which I assume you are well paid for (or do you work for free?). You have quite a conflict of interest in relation to this subject! If I was being paid $150k+ per year for cutting up peoples penises, I'd probably defend it too.
DocBastard 40
Infernati- I'm offended because you are the ignorant one. I'm not offended because you suggested a second opinion. I'm offended because you said "most doctors are ignorant" on the subject. You know this how? Have you polled all doctors and cone to this conclusion? No. That's your own ridiculous self-serving guess and nothing more. I won't comment on you calling me a vicious ignorant moron with a god complex except to say it's ******* laughable. I know plenty on the subject, because unlike you I had 4 years of medical school plus five more years of surgical training plus many years after training of reading medical journals. So calm down, grow up, and realise that you don't know as much as you think. Marvin- there's no conflict of interest. I got paid $13 for a recent circumcision. I'm not defending it for money. The mohels who get paid hundreds for the Jewish rite can do that. I do it strictly for medical reasons, so you can keep your sanctimonious bullshit to yourself.
LittleMissBroken 11
lol XD
k_madison 0
ew. you mean you haven't been circumcised?
guckylynn 19
"Ew" is not the appropriate response. In fact many men are uncircumcised. Get over it. They're kinda born that way.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Not to mention the fact that in most places around the world, men aren't typically circumcised.
sourgirl101 29
It's common here in the States to have your child circumcised as a baby. However, when my son was born, I had nurse after nurse after nurse try to talk me out of doing it. It was a difficult decision but we did it since my husband had it done at age 3 due to medical problems. He still remembers how painful it was.
TobyFunke 3
EWW is HER appropriate response, someone's been porked by some turtlenecks I'm guessing. I'd say eww to anyone having a turtleneck too, all the ladies say they love the way my head feels sliding in
Fsvb 32
@ 43 so why did you do it then? Medical problems, in which circumcision is necessary, barely happen if you just wash your son and learn him how to wash it good down there.
lemoncows 2
why did they want to talk you out of it?
pogostick_fml 2
#43 Do you know how rare it is to have medical problems that requires a circumcision? Extremely. Overreaction on your part. And #71, they probably tried to talk her out of it, because there are many advantages of having a foreskin intact. Plus, circumcision is a form of genital mutilation.
5t3ff1k4h 47
116 - We understand your point of view. You've only posted it ten times... Anyway, what advantages are there? Through my research, I have found there are neither advantages nor disadvantages to having a foreskin, and the same idea goes for not having one. It really doesn't matter whether it's there or not, health-wise. As for your POV on mutilation, that's fine and dandy, but it's your opinion. Others may not believe it's mutilation, so you should probably stop shoving your views down everyone's throat. If you believe it's mutilation, when you have a son, you don't have to circumcise him. Deal?
DocBastard 40
Pogostick, you're doing nothing but repeating your own personal opinion on the matter. You clearly have no medical knowledge or facts backing you up. I, on the other hand, have performed dozens of circumcisions for boys with phimosis. It is NOT rare (up to 10% of three year olds), and circumcision is the best durable cure. I've been told by several of my patients that they had NO pain at all. You want to talk about involuntary mutilation? How about parents getting their infant daughter's ears pierced. Bottom line- give it a rest.
blo0_starZz 0
*an avacado
fjretsel 1
are you 5 years old?
fthku 13
I don't know what's more disturbing. Your rubbery penis, or the fact that your MOM was there. You're obviously not a baby or a little kid, so.. WHAT THE HELL was she doing there?
Bobissmall 13
She was probably took him there and waited out side, but then she went in to see the doctor i suppose?
fthku 13
Your name made me laugh. Too bad OP wasn't called Bob. Anyway, the whole situation is still quite disturbing.
Edokun 0
Laugh My ******* Arse Off
Chamelionsun 0
LMFAO!!!! That's hilarious. FYL dude!
nowIshallrise 0
LOL wow, 26, you fail pretty hard.
ManaUser 0
You know, I realize this wasn't the point, but you should get a second opinion. There are almost certainly less drastic treatments.