Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML
Today, I had to ask my dad to drop me off at my doctor's appointment. He insisted on coming up to the waiting room with me. When my doctor came out, he greeted her with, "Hi, I'm the dad, but I won't sit in because she's a 'big girl now'." I'm 21, and I was at my gyno check-up. FML
Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML
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Top comments
bluelabeled 0
oh wow.. that really sucks LOL :[ Doesn't that break that whole doctor-patient confidentiality agreement? :/
cheesesoda 0
Just because you're no longer going to a pediatrician doesn't mean you're 18. It just means you're old enough to not sit in a room with a stack of Highlights magazines, kid toys, and tiny chairs. After a certain age, you just don't feel it's necessary to sit in a room with train wallpaper.
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Comments (211)
bluelabeled 0
oh wow.. that really sucks LOL :[ Doesn't that break that whole doctor-patient confidentiality agreement? :/
Ligerie 0
not if they are under age. But thats sucks,op. sorry about your small penis =[
Zombierella 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for having a small penis ... had to have been said sooner or later ;D
stephuhknee 0
Yeah, I'd say it definitely does. Since he just switched from pediatrics to adult medicine, it implies that he recently turned 18. And that means it's not the doctor's decision to tell his parent's anything. He would have had to give consent, and I'm sure if he was aware of the problem, he wouldn't have done that. Switch doctors again, dude. You have a bad one.
cheesesoda 0
Just because you're no longer going to a pediatrician doesn't mean you're 18. It just means you're old enough to not sit in a room with a stack of Highlights magazines, kid toys, and tiny chairs. After a certain age, you just don't feel it's necessary to sit in a room with train wallpaper.
Stunt_fml 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, that age for me was 14, for my ex.... 20. FML.
canadiangirl007 0
Dude, if he is 18 why the hell would his parents be at the doctors with him? I think if he was 18 and going to the doctor his mommy and daddy wouldn't be there with him. I am guessing he is probably 13.
boatkicker 5
Ha. My pediatrician kicke me out when I turned 18, which sucks because none of the adult doctors in my area were taking on new patients at the time. I either had to drive over an hour, or not see a doctor. (I chose option #2)
Rakayum 0
what are the remedies?
OrySoma 11
asking for a friend?
RustyShackelfurt 0
Hypothetically speaking, what remedies did he speak of? They are for my friend of course!
mcbob_kool 0
yeah...Metallica and Slayer are EPIC...SOAD's just awesome
brutallyhonest24 0
hey your lucky he caught it early before it went out of hand
plexico 4
Actually the doctor can have buttsex with you no matter how small your penis is, all you need is an asshole.
plexico 4
Well, that would be overkill on a small penis.
gosrisky 1
however, here at mlia we do anyways xP
Starchild21 3
LOL! That's ****** up. ______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
kellyjelly_fml 0
awwwww poor thing... as if his parents didn't already know though! And you never know - maybe he is a "grower" not a "shower".
djb23 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBD9emGjNPs all this made me think of
sika_fml 0
Agreed. This isn't as bad as it seems dude. At least now you know what to do about it. I (if I had a penis) would rather find out in a doctors office than with a girl my first time. Before you give me crap about how I don't understand because I'm a girl, I'll let you know that I have larger than average lips. I have a tough time wearing swimsuits because I look like I have a sack with some serious camel toe.
plexico 4
It's probably that if a man loses 30 lbs he'll SEE another inch of his penis. Before the loss, it would be concealed by his big ol' belly.
ovyind 0
Don't be silly, it's because of the fat stored at the base of the penis. When you burn fat it disappears too, cause there to be a larger amount of penis portruding.
plexico 4
Another bonus is that the ladies don't have to hold your adipose bag of corpulence over their heads like a tarp when they blow you. They hate that. They make you pay extra. Or, so I've heard.
hella_elyse 0
You just left me speechless with my jaw open haha. Oh what the anonymity of the internet brings out of people. Gotta love it! Props to including that useful tidbit of information there :)
trip_toke_thrash 0
who the **** cares?
ndawgg 6
Actually, doctor/patient confidentiality extends to everyone (disregarding small children)
YankfanZZTop22 0
thats hot lol fun to suck on lol
masquerade08 0
Camel milk. So I've heard. But, I'm a chick, and don't really worry about that. But unless you have, like, a micropenis, you shouldn't be concerned. Read the Kama Sutra. Learn. To some chicks, a big penis hurts.
Fontario4 2
It doesn't matter how old the person is, doctor patient confidentiality is ALWAYS there whether they're 13 or 75, so yes that does violate it, report him.
kevin27_fml 3
no pun intended.
gIsaac 0
hahahahahahahaha that's funny and no of course it doesn't break the confidentiality cause their his parents and he was gonna tell them ways to fix it
eat_this_buddie 5
I know what you mean!
cwl727 33
#52 He might not have his license and his parents drove him.
danny_doom27 6
giggity..
lifesafaitytale 15
It only breaks confidentiality if he was over 18 or sharing the information with someone who was not the guys parent or guardian.
bartender_fml 0
awkward. enough said.
tgd4444 9
i have a tiny ****
hellojessi 0
suuuuucks. haha
xMooMoox 0
At least op is getting help now
zackman13 0
wow that sucks.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...My **** is much bigger than yours, My **** can walk right through the door With a feeling so pure.. It's got you screaming back for more...."
allmidnighteyes 11
Best one yet. I love it. :D
mo_the_owl 0
"My dick bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kids My dick rush like the chargers (the whole team) Your shit look like you fourteen My dick locked in a cage (right) Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick so hot its stolen Your dick look like Gary Coleman My dick is like supersize Your dick look like two fries My dick more mass than the Earth Your dick half staff (it needs work) "
the_coon_fml 0
what song?
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Mine's Cigaro, dunno his
the_coon_fml 0
i meant urs. he just added his as i was typing. haha he's a fake nyway. like the fake plexico.
Byah 2
#26's song is "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. Anyway, sucks that he would reveal something like that without your consent (as he's supposed to do), OP.
deathmajestic 0
Cigaro bitch! SOAD
Intoxicunt 6
The fake Plexico and p1exico are both gone for good. Anyway, lyrics dude, WIN!!! Mega win. You unlocked my approval!
Unregistered 0
lmao how do you not know that song? calling it fake wow do you get out often?
the_coon_fml 0
what???!!!plexico's gone?!
the_coon_fml 0
wait what? haha n the real p1exico. the one who was the "voice of reason" on fml.
mo_the_owl 0
haha Actually, I'm a girl. and I wasn't trying to bite off IRWL style -just some lyrical banter. ;] his simply reminded me of that one [granted, a terrible song but fitting].
the_coon_fml 0
o. k good cause i hate ppl like tht. n unregistered. haha if he see's this he's gonna reply with some bullshit.
AAAAHHHH12 2
Cigaro. FTW. Pwned. Well spoken, ireply_w_lyrics!
fuckeverythin 0
SOAD FTW
lntoxicunt 0
lmao nvm lyrics i read all the other fml's you posted on and i have just one thing to say- stop posting on fml you are getting really ennoying seriously nobody cares that you can reply with lyrics
Starchild21 3
Ouch that was mean to say Intoxic lol What did you mean by plex being gone though? _________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Its k, its not the real Intoxicunt. Click on the profile.
Starchild21 3
Lol man this shit is so childish. __________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
ireply_w_lyrics 0
yup. SHIT. i have two l's in my name that can be capital i's
plexico 4
Why did he switch from a pediatrician to an adult doctor? All pediatricians are adults! Doogie Howser was just a TV show, not a documentary. How's a minor going to buy malpractice insurance, huh? He should have stuck with the pediatrician so his doctor would consider his penis small-ish instead of "abnormally small." Better yet, he should have never left his neo-natologist who would have that thought he was HUGE!
Intoxicunt 6
If you're going to imitate me, learn how to ******* spell. Idiot. Actually, if you're going to imitate me, go visit the Grand Canyon and dive into it. Trust me, there's lots of deep water at the bottom.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Haha, that's the first thing that got me. Second was the fact that the real one would insult in a wittier way :P
Intoxicunt 6
Exactly. Plus, you know I read most of your comments. Your style and humor is no stranger to me. If I were going to impersonate someone, I would be effective. I would observe the way they type, who they talk to, everything. I guess some people just want their 15 minutes of infamy before they get banned.
Mikey_Mayhem 0
translation: i have no life
j_cat187 20
my dick benchpress 350, ur sh:t cant shoplift at thrifties
redredblood1 7
Gotta love SOAD XD
Jack99 0
so, what are the remedies? xD
ismaeljrgomez 6
Hahahahah I was thinking the same thing!!!!!!!
overkill_78 4
Try pulling it.
nm22395 0
umm... OUCH D:
lozanoj83 0
#5 haha! nice SOAD song
the_coon_fml 0
soad?
Intoxicunt 6
System Of A Down. Epic band. I'm sure you've heard of them.
the_coon_fml 0
o. haha yea my 5 yr old cuz was showin me byob yesterday. i should get some of there songs on my ipod. and do you know y plexico left? he was the best..
noluck84 0
soad, epic? not quite.
jellyfish_ftw 0
BLASPHEMY! Violent Pornography is my current blast-while-driving-with-windows-down song. System Of A Down never gets old :)
skullbuster 0
@pimpin88 - Honestly, dude, your dick is 6 inches...so you are not turning heads in the locker room and the ladies (or guys, depending on how you roll) are not gasping when you drop your pants. Stop lamenting in your longwinded style like some **** sage about how you are so glad you don't have a tiny dick. Yours is average, based on the way you were talking I was expecting you to announce some 12 inch python or something...
mrwilliams 0
You feel bad. to feel badly is to imply that the mechanism that allows you to feel is working poorly.
plexico 4
the_coon, I didn't leave. There was an impostor who used my name but capitalized the initial 'P'. He even stole my picture to make himself even more like me. They booted him. Although my nickname starts with a small 'p', it is the OP that HAS the small 'p'.
AcesAndEights 0
lmao
the_coon_fml 0
haha thank god
brendiz 0
LOL ...at least he wants to help? =P
mmonroe_fml 0
HAHA, right.
Unregistered 0
how do you not know that song? lmao calling it fake wow get out often?