Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
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Top comments
PugnaciousSaint 0
you went to the doc about you penis with your mom?
Bobissmall 13
OP could have been quite young, there isn't an age limit to write an FML
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Comments (167)
nickalamb 4
Dude - why was your mum there?
HeyyitsChelsea 0
Ew, you should have already been circumcised. Your mom's a douche.
cowjudgesyou 0
that's what you get for flashing your mom.
doltkid 3
your mom is the BOMB!
randombitches1 0
circumcision is very sexy..........uncircumcised dicks r very creepy especially when u pull the skin back..........but going back 2 the size of ur dick,google might be a help on how to make ur it bigger
domosumo 0
And you think a cha cha that looks like an overfilled taco isn't creepy..?
Hession 0
I'm sorry not everyone can have black cocks
domosumo 0
It's one thing to have something wrong with your Richard and quite another to have your mum making fun of its flaccid (?) state. FYL for having a mum that is so insensitive about your self-esteem.
monkeykid5228 0
that's a condition? that explains a lot..
usmcsupporter 0
@159 lmao
sexyredhead8 0
love your mom :)