Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
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Top comments
PugnaciousSaint 0
you went to the doc about you penis with your mom?
Bobissmall 13
OP could have been quite young, there isn't an age limit to write an FML
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Comments (167)
Troghen 4
Its probably easier without it.
BlackTarStew 0
Why was your Mom in the room with your doctor?
InvaderZacko 0
its only today that he had this problem
Rubilon 0
The condition if known as phimosis. It is quite aggrivating and can lead to medical problems. Your mother was just poking fun but the condition is a problem. Good luck with it.
eatpussy 0
Ive heard the saying enjoy the small "things" in life but damn if your mom is givin you shit about it...
billtaylor 0
Hey girls do u think it less attractive when people ARE NOT circumzized
ArcAngel317 0
Everyone who's talking shit about circumcision needs to just shut the **** up. I was circumcised when I was a baby, so what? There are many studies out there based on MEDICAL RESEARCH that there is no difference between circumcised penises. I do not feel "mutilated".
YouputwhatWHERE 6
Can you say "owned?"
MickyD18 8
really? with your mom?
krgoks 10
Foreskin provide less friction Pros Unprotected sex feels better for woman Masturbation is less abrasive Foreskin reduces keratin levels in the head which toughens the skin Pros Oral sex is more pleasurable (and for the ladies: quicker) Easier to control release (for someone with practice) Cons Increased risk of premature ejactuation (for someone without practice) Easier to injure the head Foreskin needs to be pulled back to properly clean Cons Increased infections when not done regularly - easily treatable (probably tougher for the elderly) Removing a body part Pros Rough handjobs can cause damage to the frenulum Cons 100% chance of pain (some can be mitigated with anesthetics - not guaranteed) 0.2% chance of serious surgical side effect May cost money Appearance Subjective based on location and religion May be harassed by peers if different May feel different I don't remember seeing my dad's dong. I didn't play sports in high school, so I never took a shower with the boys. Been with my fair share of woman. 30% have questions. 100% have enjoyed it. My parents made the right choice for me.