Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PugnaciousSaint 0
you went to the doc about you penis with your mom?
Bobissmall 13
OP could have been quite young, there isn't an age limit to write an FML
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
oc77 0
it's not true! you don't have to be circumcised if u don't want to. steroid cream will soften the band, or it could be cut under local. see a urologist!
RavenNight 0
well thts funny and mean
Cyberphobia 0
48 - That's not true. The medical benefits of a circumcised penis are many. Cleanliness, it prevents urinary tract infections, lower change of HIV and other STIs, virtually risk- free of getting penile cancer and women are at a greater risk of cervical cancer with an uncircumcised partner.
5t3ff1k4h 47
73 - True, it is easier to clean a circumcised penis. It is not difficult, however, to pull back the excess skin to clean underneath it if you happen to still have a foreskin. There is no proof that STIs (in which HIV is included) are transmitted easier to a male with a foreskin. As said, if you clean it properly there should be little to no chance for getting a urinary tract infection (at least via that method... there are other ways but the other ways have little to do with cleanliness). If you're worried about getting an STI, you should be wearing a condom at the very least, anyway. There, your risk is decreased. Again, there's no proof that the risk of getting penile cancer (or cervical, for women) is increased with the foreskin being present. There is actually a greater risk for women to get urinary tract or yeast infections IF the male doesn't clean his uncircumcised penis properly.
sallen0046 4
Why was your mother in the room while the doctor was examining your penis? You're obviously old enough to be left alone with a doctor. More importantly, why does your mother have any idea of the size of your penis to begin with? Once you're potty trained, there is absolutely no reason your parents should be examining your bits.
Cyberphobia 0
48 - That's not true. The medical benefits of a circumcised penis are many. Cleanliness, it prevents urinary tract infections, lower change of HIV and other STIs, virtually risk- free of getting penile cancer and women are at a greater risk of cervical cancer with an uncircumcised partner.
tulsafml 0
actually it is avacado not avocado
swagaswag 0
and they say a dick is bigger when it's uncircumcised...
jess6blondie9 3
Not by much.
5t3ff1k4h 47
77 - No, "avocado" is correct. Check up on these things if you want to join the argument.
blahblahblah5_x 13
Well, your mum obviously won't know how big your penis is so that's a stupid fml. Just cos she said a joke which isn't necessarily correct you don't need to put it up
cul8r 4
You seem to suffer from a Phimosis. Look it up in Wikipedia, then switch to German for a picture of what I guess you describe. It is operable WITHOUT circumcision. (Feed the German Wikipedia text (all after "Behandlung") into Google Translate) Interestingly, this does not show up in the English Wikipedia.