Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
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Top comments
Lexia_fml 0
I don't understand. Portable stalls? Then how could it tip? If not, how could someone get a hand under the door?
FPsLife 5
I don't think I've seen a portable stall with an opening in the door like that... That guy probably deserved it for sticking his phone in like that, but you really should have thought ahead...
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Comments (154)
tky405 0
lol gross
itscalledkarma 0
I Second that x1000. Hope it was only Number 1.
abcnonamecba 0
third that x1358542246744235790000
sillisheep 4
I say better to be pissed off than on ^_^
Lexia_fml 0
I don't understand. Portable stalls? Then how could it tip? If not, how could someone get a hand under the door?
cxal_fml 0
http://open.salon.com/blog/rchaynes/2009/06/11/beware_the_porta_potties_of_france
Silent_Harmony 3
Omg wow
Bizzile 0
HAHAHAH , that sucks soooo badly
rihannalover 0
i got to use one of those when i was in france hahahaha. at OP, FYL! i woulda done the same thing or grabbed his phone and tried to crush his fingers under my foot haha. nice way to settle it!:)
Chidge 0
Ha YDI
FPsLife 5
I don't think I've seen a portable stall with an opening in the door like that... That guy probably deserved it for sticking his phone in like that, but you really should have thought ahead...
gigi37 0
Of course he deserved it for peeping; did he think it was okay to film/take pictures? And it's frustrating because he got what he deserved and yet he had the audacity to retaliate. So how could the OP think ahead on this? If that situation happened to me, I couldn't exactly aim pee on his hand, being a girl, but I would step on his phone or throw it into the toilet (before deleting whatever he had taken). And if I was pushed over or tilted while in there, I think trying to rub whatever was spilled on me onto him would be fair. OP: I hope you kicked that guy's ass
spillproof 0
I am so confused! But YDI for peeing on someone anyway.
thrawg 0
yeah but wut else should'e hav done wen some1 puts their hand and cell under the door and u dont know wut theyre doing while youre peein, just let it go??
blalien 0
Dude, it's called sentence structure. And spelling out the entire word.
lolzforfun228 3
Sorry, but this is the internet. It has It's own language. And in that language words don't need to be fully carried out.
Cromwellsandwich 0
Too bad FML's commenting rules forbid the language of the internets.
alex_vik 1
Says the person typing in correct English.
EffinWhosLife 0
So #6, would you actually enjoy someone trying to take pictures of you while you're doing your business?
humorizer 14
If it's a hot lady who's using it for private uses, I guess I wouldn't mind.
xTIGERxLILYx 0
................ would a "hot woman" EVER be that desperate to do something like that? No way, especially not to a random guy pissing in a portable toilet.
padlarf 14
hmm, you didn't see that coming?
intrepid00 0
Is this some weird moon porta-John? I've never seen one that had an opeaning at the bottom.
Ugh_Crap 0
why did that guy stick his hand under?
over_getting_old 16
To take a picture
Jimbo2000 0
I am calling fake on this one. How can a porta potty have a space at a bottom? This just doesn't make sense
Cman1494 4
i think what OP is referring to is the kinda of portable toilet with multiple stalls. these have openings at the bottom of each stall to let air circulate.
pelican2 0
did you just make that up?-
studentwoes 2
But then how would you tip it over?
katelynmarie 0
You can knock them over. They're portable... Haven't you ever gone "porta-potty-tipping" ?
Chfanfiction 0
No, I'm not a disgusting juvenile ****.
aback 5
Maybe the ones in France aren't exactly like the American ones?
LeedsFML 0
In France... (certainly the North) they have 'huts' with holes in them. Porta-John... where do you think you are... The States??
katelynmarie 0
But you've had to at least heard of it. And I'm not a ''disgusting juvenile ****.'' :(
Chfanfiction 0
"Disgusting"- you do things that cause people to get covered in shit. "Juvenile"- you think that it's funny. "****"- You do this knowing full well that it will ruins someone's day, week, or even month just because your ***** and giggles were sooooo much more important than their privacy, sanitariness, or well-being. Yes, anyone that goes porta-potty tipping pretty much automatically falls into all of these categories and they deserve to get the ever-loving shit beaten out of them.
katelynmarie 0
I never said I do it... You're a dick.
Marx0r 0
And he never called you a "disgusting juvenile ****." Idiot.
katelynmarie 0
It was implied.
Xader 0
@127 No, he was only implying that you were, IF you did it.
Shizden 0
Karma's a bitch ain't it?
seb12992 0
Karma? Are you ******* stupid? The ************ was taking pictures of him with his cell phone. I hope someone does the same to you while you're taking a shit, then you get so pissed that you run out of the stall butt naked with shit still plastered to your ass crack, then they push you over, start touching your penis, and spit on you while you struggle to pull your pants back up. Then they record the whole thing and post it on Youtube and metacafe.
QJD 0
...wow. That was...dark.