Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
BusinessTurtle
Ames, United States
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Top comments
princessAj1 6
Dude just get her a Restraining order as a welcome back gift !
rattusrattus 19
Restraining order, and if that doesn't work, piss on her valuables.
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Comments (144)
princessAj1 6
Dude just get her a Restraining order as a welcome back gift !
HowAreYouToday 34
"OMG! A restraining order? You really shouldn't have!"
Kn0wledge123 21
Rule #1 when breaking up with a psycho - change the locks.
iOceanus 18
I don't think locks are going to be enough if she's psycho enough to move her stuff back in while OP is gone...
BusinessTurtle 8
OP here, I've changed my locks and moved across town and I really don't want to hire a lawyer.
Callyn 47
She moved into your house while you were out of town. She's still obsessed with you six months after the break-up. You really don't have a choice, it's time to get the police and lawyers involved.
patrickalamo 48
Then get a gun permit.
CJ91516 11
My thoughts exactly
repost_police 4
She might snap and try and shoot him or something crazy.
gracehi 33
OP, you don't need a lawyer to get a restraining order, or to file charges against her for breaking and entering (if indeed, she did break into your apartment rather than using a key) or for any other crazy bull shit she did. Getting a restraining order is really quite easy. Just go to the courthouse and ask for one. They'll give you a temporary restraining order until a final hearing, and then you pretty much just have to show up and chances are a longer term or permanent restraining order will be issued. You should still bring any and all evidence you have of her psychotic behavior...just in case.
happyvocal 1
Just wait, if she's psycho enough to trespass after breaking up, then she'll break the window to get in if you changed the locks.
pandalover69 26
@ OP you shouldn't need to call a lawyer you need to call the cops, she's the one that should need to lawyer in the end
walmartpaysme 15
97, have you ever actually TRIED to get a restraining order on someone? My best friends husbands ex has tried to jump her four times. She has sent many threatening texts and made phone calls. She has also posted on her Facebook making public threats so it is well documented. We went to the court house and they sent us in circles. In the end there was no restraining order. If they officially lived together, however, OP can get a protection order. Protection orders are much easier to get but they are only for people you have lived with or are related to.
Bludmagnus 13
Not to be upsetting you, but you are past the point of it being a choice. You are going to have to file a restraining order if you haven't already, and you are going to have to file charges on her.
rattusrattus 19
Restraining order, and if that doesn't work, piss on her valuables.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No! Don't! She'll think you love her! "If you love it, pee on it!"
iOceanus 18
She'll think you're marking your territory!
Inediblepeaches 15
2- Lyra seems happy with the idea of that...
smoshiee 8
This makes me afraid of Lyra. Again.
mclauren29 22
Run, bro, run
ICastillo 25
Ya man that chick crazy run well you still can.
TheHarvest 7
I know how you feel. I eventually moved out of state! lol
Dekarian 7
See bro. See bro run. Run, bro, run.
theslimshadylp 6
OP's name is hilarious.
princessAj1 6
I'm positive she will still forgive him for that too .
princessAj1 6
For pissing on her stuff
pepper477 6
And I thought the overly attached girlfriend was just a meme..
DespairFaction 11
No, like the unicorn they do exist.
perdix 31
Memes become memes when they are at least mostly true, if not always true.
dashizam 10
Small recording device, taped under your sleeve...
Jakespeed207 4
And you'll only look your best, and shave your face for me...
Dekarian 7
78 - Unfortunately, it's illegal to audio record someone without their knowledge, unless you have a warrant.
green2go 14
In Texas only one person has to give consent and it can be yourself
bwinski 19
Too bad its in Iowa...
CaptMacLeod 45
See previous comment: "unless they have a warrant." Once a judge has given permission to monitor you, the game changes.
Ks22 4
Time to move
SirCharles83 13
STAGE FIVE CLINGER!
Tookie22 5
How'd she get in? Should've changed the locks when you dumped that stage5 clinger
llama612 27
If she's that clingy then she probs knows how to pick his locks or just found another way to break in. This defs sounds like a situation that needs a restraining order and therapy (for her) lots and lots of therapy.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Words cannot express my hatred for stage 5 clingers. I once had a boyfriend who was such a pussy that he would tell me "I know you like other guys cause I'm not that attractive" and then when I finally broke up with him after the rape sex messages were going too far, he called me two weeks later asking if we could talk and "finalize" the break up. What actually happened was that he spent the whole time breathing heavily on the phone and acting like a sad little bitch.
fernclogger 5
Welcome home bj?
lacespace 8
...no
gc327072 31
If she was that crazy, she'd probably bite it off, and yell at him for "cheating" while OP wailed in pain.
redmane 21
Then he'd get it reattached and become a **** star.
Tavers 19
Nice pic...
beansprouts 6
Call the police! If her name isn't on your lease they will remove her and you wouldn't even have to make contact with her.
alycion 39
Actually that depends on the state. Sometimes all it takes is some belongings in the home for you to have to go through the eviction process as my sister found out when trying to get the loser she was with out if her place. His name wasn't on the lease either. In this case, if he can prove she broke in, it may be enough though.