Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, my kids caught a virus from school. My husband stayed home with them since I make more money and he didn't want to risk me getting sick. Guess which adult has the runs and is puking every five seconds. Nope, not him. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Alleged_Cranium 7
How did OP end up with theses kids? Expired condoms?
spaboolly 26
I am assuming these are your children... so why the hell would you let their FATHER dictate a "policy" that could potentially poison them? You need to assert yourself more, especially on matters of safety, for your children's sake if not your own.
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Comments (152)
rabidpeach 5
sorry sweetie i know you have good intentionss and all but what do you hope the hospital will do for them? i mean other than hydration, you just sorta wait these things out.
BellaBelle_fml 23
"Other than hydration…" Hydration is the number one thing that children, and everyone else of any age, need when they have been vomiting or have been having diarrhea. Without proper hydration, even when healthy, they could have died had they been seriously dehydrated and left untreated. When you are dehydrated the blood is thickened due to not enough fluids to keep it at the proper viscosity and it isn't adequate amount to maintain circulation and oxygenation throughout the body. Also, your electrolytes are severely depleted causing involuntary muscle movement and even seizures. I've had that happen to me before because I have a severe gastrointestinal disease that makes having the stomach flu and food poisoning even harsher on my body. Now I know that you can normally rehydrate your children at home by giving them water or Gatorade, to replenish their electrolytes, but sometimes that simply isn't enough.
rabidpeach 5
so... what's wrong with blankets and gatorade? no she needs to burden the hospital with a huge mess so they can give the kids water thru a needle. remunds me of folks who get medical help for the flu. other than vitamin c and water, aint nothing the hospital got that you dont at home
MidnaLink 35
I seriously hope it wasn't sour cream. Love the stuff, but past the date, not a snowballs chance in the deepest circle of hell!
Svata 11
Actually the deepest circle is frozen over, so a snowball has a very good chance there
titibug823 11
What your husband did was irresponsible. Normally, some food is just fine for at least a little while after. However, that does not make it ok that he gave it to your preschooler and toddler!
gracehi 33
Yeah! Expiration dates stew for *******! Just like seatbelts and helmets!
gracehi 33
*are for *******! Duck you, Swype!
jazzmancarron 11
this would warrant a swift kick to the balls
maddygirl820 10
Your husband should have to be there, not you.
shorty6823 28
She might have been there too. I wouldn't let my husband take my kids to the hospital and not go myself.
nature_girl_08 14
92: probably because her kids are sick to the point of being in the hospital? what mom WOULDN'T go see their children in that case?
freshprizzle1 13
Did you make him eat/drink whatever was expired afterwards? Since expiration dates are for "*******" I'm sure he wouldn't have minded.
daniellepaigex3 7
How long was this expire for? & why was it not already thrown out?
Jenn50 19
Because you don't necessarily check everything in your fridge every day. Once a week, I clear out anything that's no good, and in between, if I happen to grab something and notice it's past it's date and gone off.
beanthemouse 13
I'm surprised you're still calling this nut head your "husband" instead of your "ex" or "boyfriend". Not saying you should divorce him, but if a child with food poisoning that could possibly KILL them does not convince him, I would probably regret saying "I do" that day.
ZombieSazza 34
I think you should tell your husband that feeding your kids is no longer his responsibility. It's fine if he, a fully grown adult, wants to eat out-of-date food as its his own health he's risking, but it's a bit different for a little kid who doesn't know any better.
outoftown 27
93 - Everything else not involved with food or safety.