Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, my kids caught a virus from school. My husband stayed home with them since I make more money and he didn't want to risk me getting sick. Guess which adult has the runs and is puking every five seconds. Nope, not him. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Alleged_Cranium 7
How did OP end up with theses kids? Expired condoms?
spaboolly 26
I am assuming these are your children... so why the hell would you let their FATHER dictate a "policy" that could potentially poison them? You need to assert yourself more, especially on matters of safety, for your children's sake if not your own.
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Comments (152)
Raykyogrou03 12
Make him eat/drink the same product as punishment.
tribb_89 8
That'll make them into machines and won't get sick as often when they're older
shinedown00 4
You should have made him go
fairman 5
Wow... Just wow
KJ6 21
And dad wasn't with you at the hospital because....?
ChoolyBooly 32
YDI, you seriously are responsible for the safety of your health and co responsible for the safety of your children. You know his beliefs....so you can expect to need to be the one to throw things that are bad out. If he resists inform him of how not having safe foods in the home for your children are a type of unhealthy household and could be seen as negligence and irresponsible behavior. Child Services could be called if it happens frequently. He needs to get a clue/Divorce without the kids/Bitch slap.
stoneybadger78 6
The "expiration dates" are actually sell by dates or best by dates to which are 100% subjective store to store.