Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, my kids caught a virus from school. My husband stayed home with them since I make more money and he didn't want to risk me getting sick. Guess which adult has the runs and is puking every five seconds. Nope, not him. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Alleged_Cranium 7
How did OP end up with theses kids? Expired condoms?
spaboolly 26
I am assuming these are your children... so why the hell would you let their FATHER dictate a "policy" that could potentially poison them? You need to assert yourself more, especially on matters of safety, for your children's sake if not your own.
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Comments (152)
Neongreenme 8
you need to find your inner Asshole! Tell your husband he is a Dumbass. Throw the expired crap away and move on.
RedPillSucks 33
Tell your husband "Avoiding cleaning up after puking and diarrheal kids is for *******" as you force him to clean up and disinfect the puke and fecal ejecta of your kids.
wildmonkey 16
Why don't you just make him eat some of that stuff. Maybe he'll change his opinion.
10showgirl 16
Your husband is stupid. Put eye drops in his food.
shouldwork 3
Yep use common sense If it smells like stink it probably shouldn't be eaten The dates on the package are usually best before, and even when they are listed as expiry they're usually set too early in order to promote sales And again things that are rancid and moldy smell rancid and moldy
misspennycakes 7
As a mother myself this makes me very upset for your poor children. That is child abuse. Would he have eaten the out of date food him self OP?
RedPillSucks 33
He probably would have and it probably wouldn't have made him sick. His mistake is not understanding that kids react differently to rancid food than adults do. Their bodies haven't developed the digestive tolerance. The same stuff happens to people in the US who eat food/drink water overseas where the level of cleanliness is not the same.
Raluxa 21
And I think bad fathers are *******.
misspennycakes 7
That's the best comment I've seen
mattyiscool123 26
I'm not really sure what's going on here
amDes 11
My best friend eats old yogurt, she just scraps off the mold and digs in. She eats a lot of questionable foods...
HungerGames95 13
What a twat