Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
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Top comments
Jghaugland 6
One time somebody threw up in my office and everyone just ******* exploded with vomit. I know the feeling.
Welshite 40
You should have told her The Ugly Barnacle story. She might have made the connection then. Or ask her what she had to eat. She might say "some roast beef, a chicken, a pizza...".
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Comments (84)
Jghaugland 6
One time somebody threw up in my office and everyone just ******* exploded with vomit. I know the feeling.
hulopro 16
That reminds me of that episode in family guy where everyone started to throw up.
Respect101 17
That's nice..
teentee401 37
#8 The only similarity there is that they threw up.
randome101 12
Hahah that was funny
Phoebe18 14
Because they all took ipecac causing them all to vomit uncontrollably.. They didn't just throw up for no reason
mageepaigeee44 15
It was a barfarama (Stand by Me).
martin8337 36
Throwing up is contagious, just like yawning.
mb2_native 15
35, only to people with weaker stomachs, I have a pretty strong stomach so I can still eat after or while watching someone throw up. I know its gross, but having a strong stomach comes in handy so many times haha
spucyq 1
And AIDS
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeah, I, on the other hand, can not stand the smell of throw up, sight of throw up, or the sound of someone throwing up. One time I woke up in the middle of the night, sick. I jumped out of bed to go to the bathroom, and just at that moment my mom walked past my door to go to bed. I projectile vomited all over my mom..
incoherentrmblr 22
Halitosis at its finest...
lolhailsatan 23
The Office anyone?
Mauskau 36
I walked into to a bathroom door in a hotel because I forgot I had closed it and threw up all over it :(
91hayek 31
get it together Mauskau; that is not a good look.
lollypop624 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FIRST!!!!! You should've told her!!
Respect101 17
You know the kid could have gotten sick or obviously sick at his friends house. Or at least started the symptoms.
TheGriizlyBear 22
Not first :D
accioshannon 17
I'm very curious as to what the comment was. Hmmmmm.
feven 32
It probably wasn't worth it.
1dvs_bstd 41
Do them a favor, would you? Buy them a gallon of toothpaste and numerous toothbrushes, before their breaths turn to weapon of mass destruction!
Welshite 40
You should have told her The Ugly Barnacle story. She might have made the connection then. Or ask her what she had to eat. She might say "some roast beef, a chicken, a pizza...".
TheGriizlyBear 22
Maybe your just ugly.
zebrainthenight 13
*you're If you're trying to offend someone, at least do it right.
StateFarm98 10
It's a spongebob joke -_- though #20 worded it wrong, it's from the same episode that #4 was talking about. "Maybe it's because you're ugly"
kylel27 2
I love you and your reference
kost4060 14
Well you should have told her to get some mints or brush her teeth more.
sky413 26
her breath is probably why he threw up too
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
That was my thought exactly. Can't blame the kid for her atrocious breath
scrabblestick 9
What if she threw up because of the kid throwing up, and that is why her breath smelled?..
Jghaugland 6
Sorry, I misunderstood the FML. If your son is friends with the child, never go back into the house, just send him in from the curb. If he isn't, smack that bitch up.
mario2012 18
I hope you're not a parent.
Alinafshah2204 14
This is confusing.
ThomasBombadil 31
Bad Breath Bitch! Run away!
misterspock 16
I'm sorry OP. Hope you aimed for her.
JD1147 27
Reading these comments reminds me of the movie Stand By Me. "A complete and total Barf-O-Rama."