Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
Today, at lunch I ordered a Coke. The waiter replied, "Diet Coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular Coke." He shook his head and said again, "Diet Coke." FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML
Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML
Today, a customer asked if our milkshake flavourings contained dairy. I had no idea, and it seems the manufacturer assumes milkshakes will contain milk, so didn't state on any of the bottles that they were dairy-free. I had to google every obscure number in the ingredient list to check. FML
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jpsullivan 36
Do you work as a professional dream killer?
False_Stupidity 42
They could still do a low calorie milkshake diet. Doesn't have to be zero, right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
tiggerdoc 14
What is worse is after reading this FML, I wanted a milkshake.... My flat mate had eaten all my ice cream... FML
Gillett 23
Me too!
WeezyYaHeard 6
Damn talk about a nigga moment! Child please
Ironic_Meme 10
Nigga went full retard wit dat milkshake shiiiet
mattrd_fml 31
milkshake diet??? those people were idiots. but I thought diet sodas had 0 calories...
glabberfasted 16
You thought correct. Coffee also has zero calories.
Merylwen 24
Yes but diet soda is basically poison.
marcusbjohnson 4
many beverages have zero calories. you explained incorrectly.
Shade1982 21
People are idiots. Calories are literally energy, so 0-calorie foods/drinks are absolute nonsense... You need energy to live and function...
Bragi 12
24: Sure, but most people have plenty stored away...
sabrinawho 15
Water is not nonsense. You need it.
lazyslumber 18
Better than the milkshake diet is to shake it off. Exercise with proper diet will give them healthy results.
tronjohn 6
Black coffee does have calories, about 10 cals a cup actually..tea doesn't have any and green tea is especially good for you..although I wouldn't suggest living off that.
Sora_McKain 36
No, strait up black coffee has exactly 0 calories. The only time coffee does have calories is when you ass cream and sugar.
tdawg91 17
Ass cream in my coffee? I'll stick with milk thanks
Martnikk 15
Coud work if they drink only milkshakes
rockwrench 18
Who makes up diets these days? It takes five miles of walking to burn off one donut. Can't imagine a milkshake. At least you were honest.
Gillett 23
How do you not know that. That's like not expecting salt to be salty!