Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that, "Old people are allowed to tell the truth." FML
Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Were you on his lawn at the time?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Did he make you go outside and fetch him a switch?
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Comments (5)
ahabsfan 17
Were you on his lawn at the time?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Did he make you go outside and fetch him a switch?
jbuckets_404 39
Or a sammich?
jbuckets_404 39
So did you stop being rude?
RichardPencil 32
To that generation, "cut the watermelon" means farting.