Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
Today, at lunch I ordered a Coke. The waiter replied, "Diet Coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular Coke." He shook his head and said again, "Diet Coke." FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML
Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML
Today, a customer asked if our milkshake flavourings contained dairy. I had no idea, and it seems the manufacturer assumes milkshakes will contain milk, so didn't state on any of the bottles that they were dairy-free. I had to google every obscure number in the ingredient list to check. FML
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
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Top comments
jpsullivan 36
Do you work as a professional dream killer?
False_Stupidity 42
They could still do a low calorie milkshake diet. Doesn't have to be zero, right?
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Comments (61)
Phartmacist 4
How is this a FML???
GoGiants28 13
At least they tried to shake it up
justsayin91 10
That's not actually true.... but that is ridiculous. how does one not know that??
inolongercare 19
Well... Some diet sodas don't have calories
PeacefulKnight 6
b..but.. my coke zero says zero fat on it.. D:
hurley12 30
There are zero calorie drinks aside from water but you're right, milkshakes are not one of them.
jks0308 22
I don't see how this is an FML
Eloxia 7
A diet of 0 calories isn't realistic. A milkshake diet isn't healthy, either. I did have a friend who once lost 30 lbs by replacing his lunch and dinner meals with beer, which also isn't healthy. If you cut out entire food groups you can lose weight simply because you've dramatically reduced your calorie intake. Also, coffee and tea withou sugar or milk/cream are 0 calorie drinks.
nachtii 6
This would be in America.
capnbzarr 43
Hey now, stupid people are everywhere.
gintwinsmoore 20
sounds like that person needs a helmet forever.