Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I proudly announced to my mother that I would cut down on sugar. Without missing a beat, her response was, “Out. You need to cut it out.” FML
Today, I caught my mother-in-law filling my one-year-old's cup with Dr. Pepper. When I flipped out, she told me I was overreacting since "all her kids turned out fine." Save for my husband, all her kids are morbidly obese diabetics who’ve struggled with poor diets. She herself is almost 450 lbs. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with serious digestive issues, only to be told off the bat that I just need to drink more water. She wasn’t interested to hear that 1) I already drink the recommended daily amount and 2) drinking when I don’t feel like it fucks up my system even worse. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Today, my stepmother, an uncontrolled diabetic who refuses to change her abhorrent eating habits, berated me for how "mean" I am for limiting my kids’ junk food, and making them eat a portion of vegetables with every meal. Yeah, real mean. FML
Today, I was sent home for refusing to sign a write up at my restaurant. A customer insisted that she doesn’t drink soda so she’d like a ginger ale. I calmly explained to her that ginger ale is in fact soda. She told management I was being condescending and rude, because she didn’t believe me. FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML
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Top comments
thedebater 6
She sounds emotionally abusive. That sort of behavior can cause eating disorders
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, listen to your mom. Now, you are probably full of Bill Gates tracking chips so the shape-shifters will know where to find you when they want to drink your blood. Mom knows best!
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, listen to your mom. Now, you are probably full of Bill Gates tracking chips so the shape-shifters will know where to find you when they want to drink your blood. Mom knows best!
Lydmyers 9
Sparkling water is still really bad for you though. You may as well be drinking soda.
thedebater 6
She sounds emotionally abusive. That sort of behavior can cause eating disorders
Hangryko 32
I hope you had her assessed for dementia.