Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, my husband told me he didn't want me to get power tools to build things, because he thinks a miter saw and a sanding orbiter are more dangerous than guns. FML
Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
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Top comments
bigsc 0
there are so many things wrong with that
ilaleahcim 6
There are so many things wrong with this sentence.
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Comments (86)
sophiegirl999 7
Your grammar is terrible.
meeba 2
69 screwing, and being hammered? :0
dustin3823 0
the comments on this fml are almost more funny then the fml haha
Gallaghers 0
It sounds like you being in charge of whatever the hell your doing is unsafe for the kids, no wonder they're confused.
mattyjsando 0
you don't hit screws so why don't you use the right end
Kua_Mei 0
The OP's name made me LOL. "AntiBobTheBuilder."
franciscocueva 4
I don't understand this, but even if I did...how's this an fml? fail...
truthinlies 1
look at the pot calling the kettle black
blackaspoop 0
I bet there are child labor laws against that one....
dansco 25
Hiring morons has a price eh lol. They are 6-9 years old and know no better so who cares!!