Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML
Demon child
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML
Relic job
Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML
Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML
Badmouth Strikes Again
Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Top comments
Ramb0 20
I think your baby would be safer on it's own than with her.
dahoss99 30
She probably doesn't have kids.
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Comments (24)
dahoss99 30
She probably doesn't have kids.
Welshite 40
Not necessarily. I'm childless and had to confiscate kabob skewers my sister had given my 2 year old niece to play with. The child was running around with a handful of pointy sticks, and her mother got mad at me for taking them away from her.
MidnaLink 35
Your sister's a nut. That's all I can say on that.
Brandi_Faith 34
Just because she doesn't have kids doesn't mean she shouldn't have common sense.
Calingaladha 21
Or much of a frontal lobe, I'd wager.
Ramb0 20
I think your baby would be safer on it's own than with her.
fuckpotato 12
**** off, #33
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
OP didn't state what gender her infant is, you petty moron. Babies are obviously not items and Ramb0's choice of wording does not indicate how he views children. Stop trying to find reasons to attack people.
aliciousness116 16
You should purchase plastic cutlery to keep around at home. That'll keep your baby safe.
Mathalamus 25
for a certain definition of safe. sorry, but plastic utensils can still be dangerous to a baby.
Ramb0 20
she shouldn't have to get new cutlery because of her incompetent sister.if she thinks a fork is a toy, I wonder what else she will do.
MapleWaffle 16
Yeah that's not much better than metal cutlery. They make baby safe stuff for a reason, just stick with those.
Xion0014 20
Im guessing people don't know what sarcasm is.
sturschaedel 27
EVERYTHING can be dangerous for a baby if not properly supervised. Most things are pretty OK if supervised. Even a fork if you make sure to keep the sharp ends securely in your hand, away from the baby. At eight months old the baby probably loves to bite on hard items. At that age they are pretty much constantly toothing.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Yeah, but no one gives a teething of baby a metal fork.
MsConfusedd 27
How could she not know you're only supposed to give sterling silver knives to babies? That's common knowledge.
queerdragon 20
This sounds like something I would do, in sight of my sister, to make sure she feels I am bad for babies. Then again I don't watch people's children for them, family included. Watch your own kid OP
yenze 18
Yea op how dare you let another person especially your sister around your baby.
pandalover69 26
So if there's an emergency and your the only one available would you not help your own family by watching their kids?
queerdragon 20
Short answer: no. Long answer: I live about 300 miles from my sister and her child, so it wouldn't really be a thing. I am not close with my sister and do not like her very much.
yenze 18
I am assuming not if she is willing to put a child in harms way just to prove a point
domolovesyoshi 33
Wow you seem to be under the impression that just because you don't like kids that other people shouldn't let family members around their kids, do you not understand that other people have family members that like to hang out with their kids,
gracehi 33
I hate possums. I think they're hideous. But if my sister had a pet possum, would I do something dangerous with it in her sight just to avoid pet sitting duties? No because that's ****** up and I have a soul.
edmunson 22
You win the comments today-
pandalover69 26
Ok so by your logic because you're not close with your sister then no one else should be either?? I get the feeling your not close with your sister because of you, considering you would give her child a sharp object just to keep her away from you. You don't seem like a very pleasant person. I don't like kids either and I don't want to watch my sister's kids either but I would never be that heartless.
LostInTheZone11 29
You could use a little fear persuading to get your sister to listen. I remember reading about a young boy who fell out of a restaurant booth while holding a fork. It went up and out through his nose, but thankfully missed all the cartilage causing little blood.
Redgy22 26
I wonder what people used before plastic?
gracehi 33
There was something called a "spoon and pusher." Basically, it was a cutlery set that included a spoon and something that looked a little like a miniature hoe. Children too young for knives and forks would push their pre-cut food onto the spoon so they could eat politely without hurting themselves.
Xion0014 20
Uh wood.
Redgy22 26
That's a great response & thanks for the information. I genuinely like learning little things like that!
donuts678 25
Let's hope she doesn't have kids yet
Redgy22 26
It was an honest question about history, so no need to be a sarcastic ass. I wouldn't think of giving a child a fork until they were older anyway. And by the way, I'm unable to have children for medical reasons so don't concerned yourself with my situation. Try not to be so judgemental of others. I sure you're not perfect either.
donuts678 25
I was not replying to you, I was commenting on the FML -_-
sousaphonist 14
Short answer: because a fork isn't a good toy, period.