Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
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Top comments
Xathanos 16
Social retardation is a problem. Can be cured though I think..
mimi_animee 18
Grab his dick in public then !! :)
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Comments (215)
Xathanos 16
Social retardation is a problem. Can be cured though I think..
almariee 2
never go out with him in public ;) there's your solution :p
fthislyfe 22
What was the details of your explanation?
changesinme 0
24- it was, I might get real horny and wet and I'd make you do me in public, and that's why he did it again
JiggaJayZ 16
Give him a nice backhand to the wingdings next time he does it
cudi504 4
OP's ****** must be awesome
Jimboom 12
The only real cure is a blunt object to the back of the head and a shovle... or at the very least castration so that his genes doesn't infect the world.
stro88 6
Some of the posters are mad blowing this out of proportion or just don't like ******. The bf is just petting his pussy, no harm done.
hawaiianfire 0
I don't think he's retarded, he just hasn't gotten his nut for the day. Maybe OP should take care of that before they went in public :P
underguarded 20
I just don't like your comment.
Deathhound 27
Oh my, that's gross. And why is he doing that? Does he have any explanation for that?
13FTW 9
I'm surprised he waited a whole twenty minutes
ohhaixp 6
high functioning retard.
juliushater 12
win win win win
loso86 2
We have a winner
Jacky12 0
24- You are really awesome..
ifknh8usernames 7
Not that I think it's okay or appropriate, but if my bf did that to me in public I would probably get a little horny and start acting frisky myself. Though.. there is a time and a place for everything. I would definitely rather him do it discreetly if we were in public.
Cynical_in_SK 6
No...I'm afraid there is no cure for retardation of any kind. Ignorance can be cured...but stupidity...especially when it's to the point of retardation...is forever.
kyliebear 15
You're boyfriend is way too embarrassing :) threaten him playfully
kyliebear 15
I meant 'your' ...
scotch 4
Saved yourself from a bitchy grammar nazi :)
ItsTheKing 10
Damn it, #2. I'll get you next time. I will be back.
ykthechild 0
NAZI'S UNITE!! Wait...wait...wait...you're talking about a different type of nazi,huh? Shit.
chowE_fml 4
Corny
thehoneybadger 10
141, I'm afraid you're not invited to the grammar Nazi party, as you misused that apostrophe. :(
KatherineAnne 7
Some guys are pigs. If he's worth dating, deal with it. If not dump him. Mine is too but he's worth it :)
mimi_animee 18
Grab his dick in public then !! :)
blcarter81 0
That wouldn't faze him in the slightest...?
Xathanos 16
I don't think you've thought that through, it makes her look like a ****..
marpay 11
Grab his junk and scream. "This is my man! This is where my babies come from!" What celebrity did that, because I can't remember.
zeddeiram 0
20, that was lois from family guy..
xcrashxloved 0
He would most likely try for some public sex if she did q:
dirtydancer 0
Lois from family guy.... how can u NOT know that!?
Bladian 5
Probably because family guy is stupid.
13FTW 9
Obviously family guy is not stupid if Lois is now a celebrity...
Jovecove 13
Lay off the explanation. A solid kick to his right-nut might just do the trick.
theaws0m3guy 4
Why not left nut?
jesernoob 13
because I already called left nut.
marpay 11
Just a little knowledge Lois from family guy did it to make fun of the actual celebrity who did it. After some research it turns out it was faith hill who yelled it at a fan who grabbed her husband at an awards show.
SolemnlyLove 7
ydi for dating a social retard...
sceneblondie 8
Lmfao I had the same problem with my bf XD and he's not a retard >:/
kiakia0131 23
"Retard" should not be used to insult someone.
laurengayle 0
Agreed.^
scarletteletters 0
Same problem.. Retard shouldn't be used as a insult ever. Smh.
Waffl3z 8
Lol, OP's name says it all.
GlitteryMasakali 1
Hey 9, your picture is funny :D
Waffl3z 8
Thank u ma'am :D
HomelessMuslim 0
Waffl3z I see a relationship between us.
GlitteryMasakali 1
68 - It seems you're full of racism and misunderstanding about Muslims? That's not nice.
Laterial 3
Diagnosis: Stupid!
Laterial 3
Can be contagious and highly infectious if left untreated!
jarednt39 5
10- your picture is hilarious !
jizzwold 21
I disagree with your picture
Badab1ng 5
10- you're picture is ******* stupid. That is all.
Badab1ng 5
Your* dadgum iPhone.
xcarxcrashx 9
I agree that your picture is so true cause this country is a toilet.
burninnapalm 5
Except There is no way he could have spent the 2 trillion dollars after he was out of office for three years... After 6 months, it's all the new president retards.
clumsylittleme 11
#103 That's cause your a fuc*ing moron. So shut the fuc* up(:
GlitteryMasakali 1
I would breakup immediately!
RyNo24 4
You MUST be single with that attitude...
Yodaevil 4
Seriously, unless he's 40, give it a rest! Young couples are to act like that, unless she's a prude. In that case do him a favor and dump him so he can find a girl who enjoys that kind of attention.
Jazattackk 0
Young couples like to grab each other's ******'s in public? I've never seen that
dmw25 0
This is why your alone and ugly
RyNo24 4
^^ haha you can see her ugly through the light wash in her photo!
sylverdrag_fml 9
Each other's ******? Hmmm, so this would be only for lesbian couples?
xcarxcrashx 9
Young or not. It's just not okay to grab at a vaj in public!? She's not a prude she just has class.
XXXsceneXXXkidzX 5
OP's name totally makes this for me.
Runninvegan 8
Dont deprive a man of his natural desires!
Glitterhinoceros 14
You should stab him with a freshly sliced orange peel.. In the eye.