Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in history class I was called "ignorant" and "inconsiderate" because I referred to Stalin as a "he". FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Top comments
Nanner789 0
Play along.
airforce987 20
USA! USA! U! S! A!!!!!! Did he try to radio General Patton with his shoe?
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Comments (164)
DocBastard 40
1) Walk into his room 2) Fart 3) Say "Consider your country nuked." 4) Walk out triumphantly
l0v3p4in 7
Man sits there stunned mouth gaped open watching as you leave him trapped in your nuclear cloud unable to escape. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha, you laugh devilishly.
chels1994 11
"who believed IT was still in the war" This made me laugh (:
lotrgeek 10
"It was still the war", not "it was still in the war" consider yourself nuked by the grammar nazi. BAM!
alkerh 8
Wrong. Read it again.
chels1994 11
Yeah, I caught onto that after I posted but since I comment from my phone, I couldn't fix it :- but yeah, that's my bad
perdix 31
Don't volunteer at a senior center where they show FOX News, and wearing an Obama T-shirt doesn't help.
5HT2A 5
Or show up at McDonalds.
ICATiger 13
Lets play commies and americans!!! I want to be a tank!
ShutUpAndStare 7
Can I play too? I want to be a panzerchev :3 or an m100... Either way, I want to be Russian.
isis_morrigan 18
could have been much worse, trust me. I've worked with many similar patients, and a lot have been quite violent, so be glad he didn't attack you for being a soviet!
somewizdom 15
Nobody noticed the grammar mistake in the FML? Where are the nazis?
GoW_Chick 15
I noticed a missing comma, but that was it, is there something else I'm missing?
somewizdom 15
Yeah it's 'started' screaming not starting.
GoW_Chick 15
I did not notice that, I had to re-read the post, because I read it 'started' the first time.
Fluhz 6
It? There you go. :) Haha.
The_Troller 14
[EDIT] Why must my comment move so much?
GoW_Chick 15
... because it wasn't happy were you put it?
The_Troller 14
Ironically I was replying to one of your posts...
5HT2A 5
Whatever you do, don't play COD in front of him.
geod69 8
Can't do the time don't do the crime
silencedistant 0
You might strongly resemble a person of Russian descent. There's an old Russian lady at my work who always pinches my cheeks and says "You're from my village - I've seen you before - are you Ukrainian?" even though I've told her many times that I was born in Canada, lol.
ssnowywinter 0
If she asks if you're from her village wouldn't that make her Ukrainian as well? (unless I read the post wrong, in which case- sorry!)
WolfHound8650 0
Canada, the loft above a really great party!