Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in history class I was called "ignorant" and "inconsiderate" because I referred to Stalin as a "he". FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Top comments
Nanner789 0
Play along.
airforce987 20
USA! USA! U! S! A!!!!!! Did he try to radio General Patton with his shoe?
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Comments (164)
Nanner789 0
Play along.
ClassyCommando 13
Threaten to nuke them unless they become your slaves. "In Soviet Russia, community serve YOU!"
BrickWalls 2
Don't Nuke him :/
chaoticxxxmess 3
OP, were you wearing red?
TexasMud 8
I totally would've played along
ohmylanta22 5
Why do I feel like this FML is fake?
DocBastard 40
Maybe you feel it's fake because you secretly hate FML and enjoy getting reamed up the ass by a mod.
BeefyQueef 5
Yea 22 be careful. I said the same thing about an fml and got my shit pushed in by a mod. Pretty shitty considering I had no idea you couldn't comment about how you doubt the authenticity of an fml.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
@22 - You haven't worked with elderly people who are suffering from mental deterioration then. I worked with an elderly woman who used to work with a pin-up artist and kept trying to convince me to pose as a model for the soldiers who were still at war. I was flattered and uncomfortable at the same time. I ended up letting her write down the artist's number so she would stop talking about it.
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
38- same thing happened to me! I called one fake and I hot shutdown for a few days!
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
22- We told ya...
skittihorse 8
At least he didn't ask for directions then push you into a bush.
iluvhobos 5
**** your life, but even more, **** his. Those are just the effects of war (mixed with senility in his case). Support Our Troops
babyyninjas 1
just...stop.
ragzy 7
I was wondering more what OP had done that she HAD to do community service?
rawrspriinkleme0 0
She might be a convict...or she might be in a club at her school that requires her to do community service, like a key club. I know at my school you have to do some form of community service as a senior in order to graduate.
sportsfreak81 0
Don't be afraid to punch an old man in public hahaha
ragzy 7
Fair answer #139 just me thinking the worst of somebody!
yearcity 0
the irony in the name
bballforward33 10
U look fat in that picture... And there was no fighting in the cold war...
primadonna9396 16
My grandmother thought I was a Gestapo officer searching her house for "enemies of the state"... I'm always torn between explaining for the hundredth time it's not 1940 or just agreeing with her.
krez 20
I didn't know they were still prosecuting commies?
MrStongray 2
I would have agreed
fml_fwp 9
WTF is wrong with you?!
DanLikesDodge 5
So are you going to nuke his country?
TexasMud 8
I shall if he doesn't become my slave for eternity and succumb to my world domination! Or....some banana pudding
j_cat187 20
Yea she has the Tzar just chilling in her living room
abbybailey204 19
Yes
ImInYourFACEbook 8
2, Being that they both obviously live in the same country I would say no.
arcanevandal 0
57 - I'm pretty sure the Soviets hated the Tsar, or they wouldn't have overthrown him :P
LaughinStock 16
The only good communist is a dead communist!!!! AHHHH!!! In the future we will be saying: The only good bug is a dead bug!!!!! AHHH!! :D
mandarine_fml 3
We don't hate anyone:)
airforce987 20
USA! USA! U! S! A!!!!!! Did he try to radio General Patton with his shoe?
airforce987 20
The reference is from Drake & Josh. I pity those who don't understand; your childhood must have been horrible.
The_Troller 14
I knew it! That was my first guess but I wasn't quite sure.
Pentium_4 27
i recognized your reference, and it made me laugh
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I didn't get the reference but then again Drake and Josh premiered on Nickelodeon in 2004 and I graduated high school in 2005. That show wasn't around for my childhood. I watched things like Roundhouse, Clarissa Explains it All, and All That.
kooochris1995 14
How could you not like Drake and Josh?? It's the best (:
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
I thought the same exact thing when I read this!!!:D
proposteroushat 0
This just made my day.
DictatorDom 5
I began laughing alone in my house when I read that :)
j_cat187 20
Anyone remember the Good-burger and the Amanda show. Everything on now; it's like their on crack. This next generation sounds frightening.
GoW_Chick 15
Welcome to good-burger, home of the good-burger, can I take your order?
xxokylieoxx 4
Probably the funniest thing I've heard all week.
jampang6 5
HA I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
jarrettd 27
I agree completely, shows today suck. Bring me back my courage the cowardly dog.
alchemist27 13
You just made my day
VoteForTaco 8
You should nuke them
ShutUpAndStare 7
Answering to your profile, when life gives you lemons, give life the lemons back. Or better yet, make combustible lemons and burn its house down.
VoteForTaco 8
Lol
Manganimegrl 16
Or you could throw them back and demand candy, which is what I do. :3
Johnny6speed 0
I can't wait til I have Alzheimer's. Seriously I can't.
BountyBass 13
You might forget about that tattoo on your lip. Had to do it sowry:(
uprising_fml 0
I understand the brain rotting disease, which makes you occasionally forget your family and your life, may seem fabulous and a good ******* time, but you will just have to wait your turn. wait, what ?
The_Troller 14
I'm guessing 6 was only kidding.
j_cat187 20
It's proof that mind and soul is not a permanent existence.
GoW_Chick 15
Damn commies, back in my day we could get soda pop for a nickel ... (Babbles on with meaningless rant)
ninjaboy18 6
What does op mean?
ChaosAngel17 14
Optimum Penitration.
GoW_Chick 15
I have a question, why the hell are you asking me, where in my post does it say OP? Google it! (rant over)
I_AmTheStig 0
Back in my day we always won the war. Oh wait. We still do.
perdix 31
GoW_chick, you old people are so funny! I love how you ramble on about your Victrolas, Bryl-Creem and Sasparilla! Did your grandchild put your rant on the FML Internet World Wide Web web site for you? Stay crusty!
The_Troller 14
Octagonal Penis. It's a rare medical condition. I think you can guess what it's like.
whosays1 7
OP is an abbreviation for original poster, which is the person who wrote the FML.
bjr1208 3
Original poster... FML n00b
every1luvsboners 11
Probably because you're controlling his every move. Ease off the old guy. If he wants to run around naked playing putt-putt with his dong you shouldn't stand in his way.
BeefyQueef 5
Weird how you know exactly what I do in my spare time...
ThatLooksSticky 16
I thought "nuking his country" was old man code for a hand job.
A100893 30
(To # 40) ^ Creeper.
DanLikesDodge 5
That's what I as a German have to hear pretty much everyday. Hey what's up nazi. Kill any Jews yet? Wtf is that all about? Germany equals hitler and killing Jews? I don't think so. I feel sorry for you op.
TheDrudgeChild 4
Same. And when I call them racist, they ask why. The nerve of it all.... :/
Margemander 4
I always equate Germany with Volkswagen. Gotta love German engineering.
jizzwold 21
Is German a race? I just thought it was a nationality.
nissanman_fml 16
Yeah, being German, I had to deal with bullshit like that for the longest time. Apparently, some people think it makes good fodder for a joke. Damn sick "jokes" if you ask me.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Same thing happened to my grampa, but he starts throwing potatoes and takes his pants off....
TexasMud 8
So.... Did you join in? Sounds fun
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Unfortunately no, I was too busy getting potatoes thrown at me and getting yelled at in German.
ICATiger 13
He sounds like a true Irishman to me!!! Potatoes!!!!
skata 4
35- an Irishman who yells in German? impressive
aceman1992 9
I mean I spend all day begging for money, but damn you would take advantage of an elderly person like that?