Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML
Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML
Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML
Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML
Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
Because she's a dumb ass and embarrassed herself, you dumb ass.
Just_Me_143 0
hey, I did that when I was younger at a way museum. except I went behind the so called 'statue' and dropped coins in her open hand... then she turned around and I ran like hell
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Comments (126)
Xppppppppppppp 1
1st.. and haha that's funny
Tripout 0
how is it funny. I couldve been first but my itouch was actin up. it was dropped a few weeks ago n occasionally malfunctions
ps2stony 0
probably something I woulda done
GeoThermalSleuth 0
OH MY GOD! Possesed wax!
Extacy23 0
@tripout- relax son it's on fml
Jrook 0
tripouts a loser. nobody cares who's first, an believe me, making an excuse to why you were not first makes you look like a tool
Tripout 0
Jrook did I say I WANTED to be first??? no I said I couldve been first, thus takin away another fml to fall victim to the stupid FIRST!!! tradition. But see u don't pay any attention to as to how things are written. Next time you decide to call someone a loser. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHATS FULLY GOING ON HEH???
Tripout 0
dammit. pls snickerdoodles NO PUNISHMENT lol dam she's gonna chew up.....AGAIN..... oh well. I could just fix it but I'm too lazy >;P snickerdoodles I know I said I would use better grammer/vocabulary and puntuations since the last time u got on me about that....but it's a force of habit XD
PSI_Kid 0
Wow... that happened to me once... but I was the wax figure
htownlove 0
hmmm I thought it was spelled GRAMMAR
willrh102291 0
hahaha
Dandamanoo 0
dick
Mehness 0
also it's not "puntuation"
Mehness 0
Oh and it's very possible that this is in San Francisco. I've been there, been to the wax museum, but never has there been any wax figures outside.
ButtNekked 0
Tripout is snickerdoodles bitch :)
ouchthatsux 0
lol TripOut IS a loser with anger issues.
cowgod 0
i kbow how you feel tripout. my Internet was acting weird otherwise I woulda been first
RevengeOnYou 0
YDI, stupid.
Tripout 0
@#83 it's never old to talk about someone XD and @ #96 WE ARE ALL HER BITCH XD jk...@ # 97 NO I'm just crazy XD... Also random 0_0
daniisme 0
I see where ur cmon from. it's a nice feeling to be first so pol read ur comments :D
mde2010 0
lol nice!
Mattixa 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Unless he made you sick how is this an FML?
caticaticati 3
Because she's a dumb ass and embarrassed herself, you dumb ass.
trizzieb 0
Dumb move of the day!
yeamovelikethat 7
SF ftw!
cosicosei 22
is this in victoria? as in BC Canada? there's a wax museum right next to a wharf there and I can't imagine its too too common
prettybrwneyes16 0
2nd whoo
FMLFML123123 0
the bench could have easily been a covered by a roof and if the mueseum is up far north wax will not melt outside. pretty much it only would melt near the equator.
NYKnicks36 0
this winter it dosnt have as much sun as normal and I probably wouldn't think about that off the top of my mind
FMLFML123123 0
northern California is not like southern California. plus who thinks about that "oh this looks like a wax figure. oh but mrs. _____ in 7th grade science said wax melts in the sun so it's not." yeah no one thinks that so sorry!
GeoThermalSleuth 0
Stupid Snickerdoodles, their is no such thing as Melting. Gosh, where do you crazy kids come up with this stuff.
KayBizz 0
^ love it
FernandoTorres_fml 0
@#34 GeoThermal - Icarus begs to differ :(
Jrook 0
WTF who cares if she's been to an outdoor museum. that's completely irrelevant. you're not funny so stfu
soleilkitty 0
#57 Classic! :)
misstripleu 0
for a grammar nazi, your grammar kinda sucks. you have no idea where your commas are supposed to go. hypocrite. it's about time you shut your trap and stop bitching.
rocketeer_97 1
they were probably in san francisco. its usually pretty cold there. so i doubt it would melt.
teozac 0
OOOOOWNDDDDD
sam_hates_ham 0
haha
Eddie_Paints 0
You're lucky he didn't kiss you!!
stealthpanda 1
poor guy. hahahahah
saranottelling 7
OMG, how the hell did that wax man come to life? It's kinda like the movie Mannequin.
NYKnicks36 0
3rd
Odbalt 0
snickerdoodles is just and asshole
PsychoMerk 0
well don't YOU just feel stupid xD he shouldve sneezed