Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML
Today, my cousin invited me to an event that'll be happening on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fatman1970 25
Your 24? Surely you have the right to meet whatever boys you want.
imnotc00l 10
If your parents aren't allowing you to live your life it might be time to try and move out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
sayhisoph 26
Move out.
Ruskiy_Cherep 18
Hold up, so ur saying Halo 5 already came out?!
dragoongirl90 34
There is a Halo 5 Xbox One bundle.
ProSwimmerFL 16
Smart kid
worldclassrager 41
I really want to know what the issue is with this...you are a legal adult
sariberii 8
Why don't you buy or rent your own house, then you wouldn't need to sneak out.
GokuSS400 18
Bribe your cousin with monster energy and halo 5? Yeah he's def gonna keep it a secret.
HeroofWinds1 13
Pffffft, halo 5? Your brother should get his priorities straight! Fallout 4 is where it's at!
HeroofWinds1 13
Cousin* I can't read
dragoongirl90 34
How about you grow up and realize that both games are amazing in different ways?
TheHinduHomie 12
That clever little bastard.
schreibergx93 19
Perhaps she's part of a culture where you're raised to respect your parents' rules and ask for permission. Perhaps this is a fling she doesn't want them to know about. Perhaps you all are idiots and shouldn't be self righteous 'you can do whatever you want' Living in the home of your parents defines a line of respect you still abide by their house rules. Work things out, but at the end of the day they're allowing you to stay there.
militarybrat 21
YDI. Being 24 means you have some freedoms. If you are still living with your parents, either scrap up money to get out, or compromise on some of their rules that are meant for under 18. And dont call it sneaking out. You are over age, you did NOTHING wrong.
RandKP 21
OP is living in his/her parents home. If Op wants to continue to live with the parents OP is at least obliged (if not firmly expected) to follow their rules. OP's parents do NOT have to compromise on their rules. If the rules include a curfew, and/or no dating, hooking up, etc, and this sneaking out broke said rule, then OP most DEFINITELY DID do something wrong. For any adult to live in someone else's home, and expect they can ignore the rules of the home just because they are an adult, is not in any way or form reasonable.