heck
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Windsor Heights, United States
Pissed
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
overflowing
United States
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
caqi33
United States
Butterfingers
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
Tib
United States
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
thinking of military school
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
xharmonyx
United States
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Anonymous
Are you taking the piss?
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
urinanalysis
Canada
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
slaughterteddy
United States
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Confused
Bath, United States
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
The idea of a drug test is to ensure you don't have any drugs in your system, not to see how many drugs you can cram into your system at once. YDI.
theblondeone 16
Why would you take a drug test if you know you're going to fail?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
theblondeone 16
Why would you take a drug test if you know you're going to fail?
InfiniteSunshine 32
Maybe it was mandatory. A few jobs require their employees to get them, and some parolees have to as well.
Welshite 40
The company I work for has a lottery for random drug tests. Every employee has a chance at being sent out for a test, and you MUST go the day you get the notification you've been chosen. They even send you a "CONGRATULATIONS! You've been selected for a drug test!" email.
theblondeone 16
I understand that, but if you're selected and you know you're going to fail, why even waste the time to take it? If you've done drugs, own up and just tell them you won't pass. As someone else said, negative results won't just magically appear.
drpepperking10 18
They are required so I'm assuming you would be fired for refusing the test
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Why take a drug test when you're so high you can't piss properly!
wow2mylife 25
even when you honest they still need to test you
Dale_shackleford 13
Also I've heard of people on parole getting mandatory drug tests.
lantz4levi 19
I'm kinda thinking why do drugs to begin with
Kristoffer 35
False positives are WAY too common. It's possible that the OP wasn't high. Unlikely, but possible.
super_duck 9
He didn't say he was going to fail, just that he missed the sample cup.
MrGrammar 4
It appears as if you went in there drunk if you missed the cup and got urine all over yourself...
5t3ff1k4h 47
The idea of a drug test is to ensure you don't have any drugs in your system, not to see how many drugs you can cram into your system at once. YDI.
davek 36
Drugs are bad, mmkay?
ColonelCusswords 24
Yo hate me if you want but everyone who says ydi based on the fact that drugs are bad mmkay can **** themselves for their prejudice
sirrubberduckie 37
Have you not seen South Park, #40?
AverageAvarice 23
#40 Unless you're talking weed, I really can't understand why you think addiction should be embraced.
thearronaut 10
Why the hell are the only two options here "i agree you life sucks" and "that could've happened to me"? You suck, you deserve it, and that definitely would never happen to me
Colon_Man 17
Ditto and agreed.
Lalala579121 28
They probably didn't even have to look at the results to know you would fail it.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Often, people know ahead of time that they will need to take a drug test. Even if it's randomly selected for their job or whatever, they still know beforehand that drug tests are given out, so the possibility of getting one is always there. Don't do drugs, especially if there's even a chance that you'll have to take a drug test, YDI.
kshark350 12
It couldn't have happened to me. I tried to click "you deserve it."
ClairvoyantVamp 19
Ah yes, the elusive YDI-icorn. If you manage to catch it will you be able to control is magical powers? Or will it just escape again and again, driving you mad in your futile quest for the proper button?
d3rpb0t 10
At least it didn't overfill causing you to instinctively drink it to keep it from spilling.
gamermonster 34
I remember that FML, but it had nothing to do with drugs...
GhostFox 34
Really, moderators? Why is this a "this could have happened to me" instead of the "you deserved it" it should be? Op went to a drug test quite possibly impaired from the drug they were illegally taking, and even if they weren't impaired at that moment, they still knew that they had taken the drug. This is literally a case of cause and effect.