Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML
Today, my cousin invited me to an event that'll be happening on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fatman1970 25
Your 24? Surely you have the right to meet whatever boys you want.
imnotc00l 10
If your parents aren't allowing you to live your life it might be time to try and move out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
maemismile 22
.... But why are you sneaking out? You're 24.
Poehayden 15
I work at GS and Halo 5 consoles released last night!!! XD
vikky538 29
I think you are forever 16?
rmays96 15
Halo 5 is out? O.o
Stuffaluffagus 25
Maybe it's time to grow up
derpman123 17
it doesn't matter that you snuck out what matters is if you were wearing panties
geist3047 4
It seems to me that maybe OP is not female? Also never said that they were sneaking out of their parents' house, just that they had snuck out to meet a boy. Maybe this cousin knows that OP is **** sexually oriented but the folks don't so he's paying for him to keep his mouth shut. Though I have to say, at 24, you're entitled to your own decisions. So if the above is the case, you should still just do what you want. Maybe just tell your parents yourself so your cousin can't hold it over your head? Way better to just tell them yourself than have them find out through other means. Of course I'm just spit balling here, but if that's not the situation then yeah...you're an adult, you don't have to sneak out. If it's a house rule then something needs to change, either the rule or your residence. You're not a baby anymore.
DUBSTEPER98 15
Well it's halo 5. And monster. Every teenage boys dream nowadays
BlackBoyFly 11
Return the game when the brat is unaware.
TheGingerKang 3
You can't take Halo from someone. That's not right.
KillaCourt14 6
time to move out!