Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML
Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
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Top comments
uwantacookie 5
Smart kid.
perdix 31
Did you manage to peel yourself and survive? If so, **** sapiens: 1 Musca domestica: 0 USA! USA! USA!
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Comments (59)
uwantacookie 5
Smart kid.
ananas99_fml 10
Hes a fly now
sailorzoe 14
If he was smart he would clean his nasty ass house and there wouldn't be flies.
fury1031 10
What a sticky situation.
BlueFlatts 20
If OP was smart he/she wouldn't have stuck it in his/her walking area and presumably at face level. Score zero for common sense.
PinkieKeen 20
Blind as the flies
Roskosity 22
Soon you will become their leader and be called Lord of the Flies.
primadonnagirl 13
shoot! you beat me to my own joke!!
kyu_Q 19
Flies aren't blind. They are attracted to the sticks substance on the flycatcher. Which they see as food. Plus landing on it is the only way they can taste if it's good to eat or not.
LoneBooker88 16
so he's gonna be on an island full of naked guys where they kill each other? *feel pity*
onerandomtask 14
its bait to flies the op is just dumb
Kk_Waylen24 21
Haha oh man. Were there flies already stuck on it??
killmeslowly5 5
Karmas kind of a bitch haha it's ok op everyone eventually does it
kyu_Q 19
No I think some of those homeless, starving, dying people are getting their comeuppance from Karma.
CaitlynJxo 14
This has happened to me so many times. Your not alone!
kakarot2 11
Her not alone what?
SystemofaBlink41 27
Sounds like caveman talk...
melkymac101 17
What did you have for breakfast? FLYS
Dairyking 8
Flies*
perdix 31
Did you manage to peel yourself and survive? If so, **** sapiens: 1 Musca domestica: 0 USA! USA! USA!
BlackRogue 8
Op is from Canada.... Yay Canada :)
perdix 31
#26, when you guys do something good, we claim you as Honorary Americans ;)
StarThrower 17
A silly mistake? No, a strategic diplomatic move. Now they see you as one of them. Next step - establish communication.
SMHsohard 22
So, how does it feel to be as smart as something with a brain the size of a pin head?