Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
minna97 14
BUT SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN
thrifting 18
Maybe the sunglasses are in the black eye, she's going to give you the next time you try to break up with her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
esserskat 12
Dude get out now!
kelseythompson 27
He is trying to get out.
amphetamin3 17
Not hard enough, apparently.
WellThatSucked89 13
11.. love the profile pic in the context of your comment!
brandoneyez1 25
Just break it off. If your still with her its because you choose to be, not at force.
allliseee 8
Stick to your conclusion man.
HowieDoIt 21
Your dignity is on thin ice, buddy. You were probably caught off guard, next time don't skate around the issue.
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, you said you planned to break up with her. Why are you going ice skating instead?? You don't Need her permission to move on, you only need to commit to it yourself and make it a reality. It's over, cut the cord and maintain the distance. Just walk away, and take hold of your life again. I wish you well in this.
WhiteCrimson 23
Get out now man! Don't go with her. It's a trap.
AntiPrude 26
I'm surprised, usually i always have some form of advice to give, but honestly no matter what you in this situation, it's gonna suck. Only time will heal.
greenmen 12
I completely agree just get married and save your life
tman1985 9
love is grand, but divorce is 100 grand
purebliss_fml 19
Don't show up. When she rings you asking why you're not there just remind her you two are no longer in a relationship and she should have taken you more seriously. You should give her the sunglasses back too, so she can wear them and have a good cry.
DenBriZel 31
You could just not show up, and then say "I thought you got the hint" lol
skittyskatbrat 19
QUIT BEING NICE. She's got you pegged as a nice guy. To her, not being rude to her means that you are under her control. Quit being a pushover. Tell her she's a pushy, bossy b*tch and you had to be nuts to date her in the first place. Tell her a roadkill squirrel is better looking and Jumbo probably weighs less. Inform her that her hair style went out of style back when your mom was a kid, and that you've realized you can do much, much better. You ALREADY tried to break up with her being nice, and it didn't work. So don't be nice anymore. Being nice will just drag this out and she'll cause all sorts of problems because she WILL NOT LISTEN. As a female, I'm telling you now. Ditch the B*tch and do NOT be nice about it.
MzZombicidal 36
Being insanely rude like that will also not help. He's clearly trying to be polite and mature about it (though agreeing on a date isn't such a smart idea) so why be such a low person and insult her like that? OP, just don't go and remind her that you two are over. If you're not happy, don't continue to lead her on.
skittyskatbrat 19
You've never gotten stuck dating a psycho, have you? Being nice does not work. They end up doing things like texting you for the next year, showing up at the restaurant where you took your date, all sorts of things. Unless he totally wussed out on the "breaking up" part, he's dating someone with real problems. Past experience tells me that she's going to make her problems, his problems. And unless he totally wussed out, the only way to get her out of his life is not going to be breaking up with her. Or breaking up with her firmly. Or repeating that he's breaking up with her. He may very well have to drive her away to detach her. Hopefully not, but from my viewpoint, it does sound like it. Some people cannot be treated like normal people.
siggy_mcsigx 22
There's no need to berate OP like that though, 21. You're saying because he's a guy he should "man up" and treat her disrespectfully, belittle and verbally abuse her; does that make him a better person? Is that your idea of what manliness is? Is your idea of a woman SUBMISSIVENESS and being put in her place through that nasty intimidation? I have dated a psycho, a bipolar psycho in fact, and your post beyond pissed me off. There's a difference between being FIRM and not letting someone into your life, and being A ******* ASSHOLE. Doesn't matter if he's lashing back after feeling victimized. Besides, all his GF is (probably) is insecure and scared that he'll leave, which is the reason for her being controlling. I say OP should AND CAN man up and deal with this gracefully: decline ice skating, then at that time repeat the break up, and then stop communicating with her. He just has to keep being firm about it and stick with his guns. That actually takes more cajones than cussing her out.
rlTlk 13
yea I tried ending thungs nicely with a few guys and sometimes it doesn't work they force you to have to be mean .. one guy in particular it took several times of him begging pleading crying for him to actually get the message.. then he would show you at my house begging stalk me tell people we were still together, try to get close to all my friends made fake Facebook accounts, call me nonstop throughout the night, this went on for over a year and I had to get meaner and meaner with him. I have guy friends stuck in this situation too they want out but they can't escape the psycho.. to me it makes no sense if you don't like someone you don't like someone get the **** out. one unfortunate soul I know broke you with his girl stalked him nonstop made constant public scenes with him crying and hysterics places she was never welcome to be she somehow befriended his female roommate to get in his apartment then convinced his roomate to leave the lease so it forced him to have no place to go and here she is offering her home so now he's living and back together with this psycho and crying that he has no way out.. makes me facepalm so hard.. this is bot the first second or third time ive seen a girl stay in a relationship by being like that. like how do these tactics work for girls I think guys just secretly really love the attention and having a girl so distressed over them that they can keep playing them along threaten to leave see how badly they react see how badly they can treat them and still have them worship the ground they walk on.. so I see two parts of a ****** up dynamic for sure. Cuz if a guy really didn't like it they wouldn't stay with them or get back with them so much. end of story.
MzZombicidal 36
26, I have dated a psycho but I was never rude until it needed to be done. He needs to stand firm and end it properly. Agreeing to another date and raising her hopes for them is definitely not the way to do it, but neither would be mocking her weight and looks out of no where. We don't know what he said specifically and, for all we know, he could have tried being rude, he could have been way too nice. Either way, he needs to stick to his guns and end the relationship and keep it that way.