Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
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Top comments
minna97 14
BUT SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN
thrifting 18
Maybe the sunglasses are in the black eye, she's going to give you the next time you try to break up with her.
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Comments (139)
minna97 14
BUT SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN
Ambient25 25
I still don't understand how he agreed to go ice skating with her
Stylux_fml 16
#23 She probably seduced him with her overwhelming COOLness. Prepare yourself for a pun war, my friend.
NeatNit 33
This is probably one of the SHARPEST comments I've seen!
Stylux_fml 16
I-cy what you did there.
Jemm_fml 29
FOR DINNER.
dman255 10
#23 She was probably just like "you're coming there with me tomorrow" and like twitched her eye like a psychopath. She'd probably stab him if he stood her up.
fakedsincerity 32
@23. he has no balls.
GreatGeak 8
I think 52 BROKE UP the pun war.....how COLD.
hannahsnyder69 16
I really do want to understand what you meant here #52
Stylux_fml 16
#117 I think he needs to just chill out.
extrasnipes 22
guys putting caps on the PUN makes the pun less cool just saying
xZoeAmethystx 12
Are you "dating" THE overly attached girlfriend? I think the answer is yes.
Acik91 26
Well, at least she's rather cute.
Comet_Candy 23
She has those eyes that stare into your soul... What a woman.
Dawnstempest 17
@ 42 And a knife to plunge into your back the first time you turn it to her. Well, you know what they say, "Love hurts."
Meaniebobeanie 26
@42 Found ya! ;)
thrifting 18
Maybe the sunglasses are in the black eye, she's going to give you the next time you try to break up with her.
peacheso 31
I sure hope she doesn't see this FML
thrifting 18
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned via internet.
poulkrebs 20
How about... Not going ?
MrsDruidess 23
I have to agree, if you go . . YDI. just say no, no one can date you without dating you. . .
d_mellette 8
How about going , try dumping her again , if that doesn't work. GET THE **** OUT OF THERE
bobo_the_bear 5
I say go, but bring along another girl as your date. Maybe then she will get the message or you end up in a threesome situation. Win Win.
Eg94 2
... Win
shadowrider879 4
Definetly a win win
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
I find this series of events rather hilarious, but I am sorry you seem to be stuck in a terrible situation!
snippit 18
Just don't go
CobraLazerFace 21
He'll then end up going there in a body bag.
Infinet 8
The story of Bad Luck Brian and Overly Attatched Girlfriend. She may buy you a doge next.
addioty 19
Would you like your eggs scrambled or fertilized?
laughmaster 9
Tell her that you guys aren't on the same page in the relationship, honestly OP, I know it's rough but the longer you let this go on the worse it'll hurt her in the end
DLT_fml 20
This whole FML started with him talking to her about it! Some people (like my ex) take a lot of convincing. He was dumb to agree to go skating, I wouldn't suggest trying again on a slippery surface while she has blades attached to her feet.
fakedsincerity 32
68: you don't convince someone to accept your breakup you grow some balls and tell them it's over and leave.
qassaq 14
It's about the time someone grows a pair... No means no.
LyzardSmith28 11
Maybe this is a good time to learn to stand up for yourself. No man should be whipped.
HammyBear13 8
Thats worse than whipped. Shes got his balls cemented down. Hes ******.