Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
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Top comments
minna97 14
BUT SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN
thrifting 18
Maybe the sunglasses are in the black eye, she's going to give you the next time you try to break up with her.
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Comments (139)
ReggieReefer 12
Time to man up and and break the girls heart. Don't drag it on any longer she will just get more psycho!
EvilLittleMan 23
You have the big sunglasses. She has the extremely small purse where she keeps your balls, that is if you have any at all. In this case, size matters.
Yodelmeister 18
I have a buddy who used to work for a spine implant company, maybe he could hook you up? Seriously, you're just making it harder for the both of you if you go.
ninety 25
Been there, done that with my ex-boyfriend. If you really want to break up with her just get your stuff if you need to, tell her you guys just aren't working, and change your number. Trust me. Changing your number is very important and will save you a lot of hassle and trouble.
kakakarotcake 17
you already broke up with her why are you going?
MysteryGuest214 10
Wasn't this a Seinfeld episode? George and some girl who looked like a carrot?
AerBear115 15
Just don't show up.
xassass1nx 11
So lete get this straight. You don't want to be with her anymore so you tell her this and she's just like "nope your still my boyfriend stop dreaming! Now here are some expensive sunglasses"
NodakN8V 25
Man up. Because it sounds like she's got the pair in this relationship.
eternal_malaise 10
"Kill me now." If you attempt to break up with her again, she just might try.