Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
Today, I went on my first date in a year or so. It was going great, but after we left the restaurant, we went back to her place, where I was quickly chased out of the house by her two daughters, and her grandfather with a shotgun. FML
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
Today, I went on a date with my a man I’ve been seeing at a restaurant. I went to use the restroom. When I came back, he and my purse were gone. He won’t answer my phone calls or texts, and he blocked me on Instagram. I’ve been ghosted and robbed. FML
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Top comments
chris_42 11
Obviously your boyfriend never actually existed and the security guard made you leave because of you were disturbing the other customers with your delusions. It's the only logical explanation.
tpm45 25
File a complaint, OP, then find him and Kick his ass. And at the very least, did he pay the bill?
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Comments (36)
cookie1207 19
Maybe he ate all the dessert at the restaurant
puggypark 14
Find and kill his ass. He ate all your dessert and left without even paying and saying thank you.
Sweet_Meli 11
Maybe he got drunk, and started singing opera :O
AnagenisisZagus 13
Woah, woah, woah. Who shit in your cereal this morning, #7?
tpm45 25
File a complaint, OP, then find him and Kick his ass. And at the very least, did he pay the bill?
NeatNit 33
"Ma'am, please pay the bill so I can escort you out." I don't think she had to pay for anything.
etoilenuit 15
And they had only been there 20 minutes so I doubt they already had their food..
chris_42 11
Obviously your boyfriend never actually existed and the security guard made you leave because of you were disturbing the other customers with your delusions. It's the only logical explanation.
scampman 5
Yeah this sounds about right. I hate it when that happens.
nightbirdblue 27
Actually, Op was sitting in the library talking to the air. She disturbed the other people in the library with her conversation with someone who didn't exist. When one of the people in the library came to try to ask to be quiet, she started to order food. The bathroom she went to was actually the area behind the front desk. The librarian had to kick her out after that.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I think you all accidentally put shrooms in your sandwich.
nightbirdblue 27
That was shrooms? I swear it was peanut butter. Damn, all those sandwiches I made for people must be causing quite the ruckus now.
judea95 16
4 years of loneliness finally taking its toll...
NlGHTHAWK 7
Happens to me all the time.
RonnieG 10
perhaps he caused a scene, grabbed the waitresses ass, went off on an employee, threw stuff, etc. in any case, I would not call him to find out what happened. you don't need that foolishness in your life.
Kalipczo 21
You could have just asked the security guard...
lwonderful 11
Normally security guards don't answer the ones they're removing from somewhere
judea95 16
And you know this how?
NotoriousLES 14
My best guess, she knows because she's been out in public a few times.
vucui 21
Perhaps he stated that you were going to do a dine and dash? That's the only reason I can think of that a security guard would be waiting for you.
purpletardis 10
Wouldn't they have made her pay if that wad the reason?
vucui 21
The OP didn't mention if the bill was paid or not in the FML, so it's all speculation at the moment.
erockinthesuburb 17
What kind of restaurant has its own security guard? Better order dessert or Vinnie here will bust your knee caps!
broderickc 13
Hahaha that was my favorite comment
Epikouros 32
It could have been a mall cop.
martin8337 36
Yeah, Paul Blart.
morella_xx 29
Maybe a waiter saw him put something in your drink/food? That could explain both why they wouldn't let you finish it and why they had someone walk you to your car.
Not_Impressed13 9
That scenario never even occurred to me when I read the posting.. But if that was the case, you would think they would call the police..
morella_xx 29
You would hope so, but I could see the manager/owner trying to avoid the restaurant being dragged into any legal matters, even if they were on the right side of things in stopping him.
TheDrifter 24
As he was gone when OP got back, they very well might have had him arrested. OP just didn't get a talkative employee escort. At least her date didn't dine and dash while she was gone and stick her with the bill.
Ki11erC 18
Nothing says anything about car. Out would normally just imply out the premises.
yscpunkchick 14
^Hey! I think its trying to communicate!
Achall91 17
I think someone would inform OP if they saw someone put something in her food/drink. They wouldn't just make her leave, if this was the case they would have explained it.
NotoriousLES 14
You'd be surprised. I used to work in a bar and a similar thing happened. The guy got taken out back and beat senseless wile the girl got taken out front and sent home. I can't say for sure, but I don't think any explanations were given.
4ube_fml 6
Who the hell goes to the bathroom in the middle of a meal ? Go before, or hold it until after...
DocBastard 40
Correct. It is morally and ethically wrong as well as completely socially unacceptable and punishable by death in 52 countries. How dare you do something COMPLETELY NORMAL. 4ube - The answer to your question is "Everyone". Idiot.
morella_xx 29
You're right, #10, it's much better to spend dinner squirming in discomfort and too distracted to enjoy the meal or conversation. God forbid someone excuse herself to quickly go do a natural bodily function. Grow up.
Cazz91 21
Who the hell writes a stupid comment about bodily functions in complaint form over timing during a meal anyways? I do know #10 has. I did not know that your biological functions are suppose to operate at specific restricted times either! Thanks for that intelligent life lesson..... -_-'
Caitie_kid 8
I'm pregnant and I go at LEAST once during every meal. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
judea95 16
What if you have diarrhoea?
jsc9306 14
That's definitely a head scratcher... WTH?