Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Gotta love people without the balls to just tell you when something is bothering them or just not working for them!
seandoc 13
Just like the movies!
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Comments (92)
seandoc 13
Just like the movies!
igive 29
Jack and Jill comes to mind.
decidedlyvague 11
At least he didn't come out dragging a midget by the leg, nose covered in white powder, with his pants half down screaming "Irene why!!!!!! Why did you leave me!!!?!!????"
sens3sfailing 25
I'm happy I don't get that reference, whatever it's from sounds ****** up
Iniezian 18
This is an epic win despite the weirdness.
Homer1975 14
maybe he got murdered,try and quick to call him
decidedlyvague 11
A reference to what? I don't see a reference.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Gotta love people without the balls to just tell you when something is bothering them or just not working for them!
ColdplaySucks 18
Sure the date might not work out but who leaves without eating?
Isoldael 27
23, it was during dinner so he probably ate at least part of his meal, but left her with the bill.
crazycatlady5 6
He could've just gone "I'm an actor, their all actors, and you are on MTV's disaster date!"
bwzwally8 15
What a bitch. Does not sound like a man at all sounds like a boy. He needs to grow up.
Oscar_Grouch9 4
Says the guy flexing to a mirror.
Homer1975 14
perhaps he was a WANTED by FBI, did you get ready bolted with him?
zessica101 5
Omg what an jerk! !!
LiterOfCola 16
What a asshole. I just don't get how you can be such an passive aggressive douche. ;)
Homer1975 14
almost there, finally the guy find out that he was totally a gay. dont cry baby, go get next one who is straight
IllestRated 17
Don't even sweat it, there are better guys out there.
peppermintpink 11
Good riddance... Better than being in a relationship with him...
LordoftheOcelots 10
I guessed it? So a dinosaur did eat him on the way back?
XxDevilxXGt 26
I guessed that he came back wearing a purple dress with a blonde wig pretending to be a woman. I guess I was wrong.
gracehi 33
No, no, no! You both got it wrong! You see, what had happened was, OP's date went to the bathroom, where he slipped and fell in a puddle of urine left on the floor by a one eyed man with poor aim. (You know, with his poor depth perception and all.) As he was lying on the floor, helpless and in agony with a broken leg, Gilderoy Lockhart happened upon him and stole his bones. Now a puddle himself, OP's date fell through a drain in the floor, where he landed deep in the sewer underworld, ruled by hideous mutants. There, the mutants took pity on him, and gave him a job as a rug in the lobby of their city hall. All was well until one day, the mutant city fell under attack from the City of the Blind, where the one eyed man was King--the same one eyed man who had sabotaged OP's date's romantic evening! "I shall have my revenge!" Shouted OP's date, as he threw himself at the feet of the one eyed man, who slipped, and fell into the putrid sewer water, where he died a particularly unpleasant drowning death. "Hooray!" cried the mutants, "OP's date has saved us!" as the City of the Blind soldiers retreated. They are stumbling through the mutant city in search of their home to this day. And, to this day, OP's date flies over the mutant city, as the flag of that proud mutant nation, the mutants ever thankful to their hero. And THAT is what happened. See, OP? Don't take things so personally.
xXxSCREAMxXx 3
My guess was that he was eaten by a grue.
Lenho 26
72 - What the holy ****?!
MWidderAUDI 14
way too much time on your hands?
LordoftheOcelots 10
72....that...was beautiful
mowmowlife 21
He got the happy puppy syndrome where he couldn't stop peeing for joy. He's probably really embarrassed right now
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
Or perhaps he was extremely constipated from excitement!
happle 21
My mom did that once. The guy found her.
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
Wow...awkward. I can see it now... Guy: Hey you, you forgot to come back to the table! They just brought breadsticks! Mom: Oh yeah, thanks...
bugmenotmofo 34
That made me laugh. "I'll chase you till the end of time!".
happle 21
70- That's actually pretty accurate. He comes to our house from time to time. I'm very careful about checking who's at the door now. ._.
Dory123 9
I'm sorry OP but think on the bright side, at least you didn't get too serious yet. Dodged a bullet there. :D
poccocurantes 7
Yeah he could have stuck you with kids.
Rainbowjumper0 12
^that escalated quickly
YooEfO 4
I didn't guess it, but maybe he got a text from another girl who is a little less high maintenance and didn't need to be taken out to a fancy dinner for a first date.
pheebs314 17
It just says they ate, not that it was fancy. They could've been at Red Robin for all we know.
TxCountryBeauty 10
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel like you're worth the fancy dinner date... Personally I'd rather meet up for a drink or do something fun. It puts less expectations on each other. Save the nice dinner for a later date
YooEfO 4
Well, he left for some reason. This is a one sided story.
TxCountryBeauty 10
Yea she could of been an ogre!
YooEfO 4
To be honest I think getting to know each other is the first thing a date should do so they don't wast there time and money trying to impress each other. Just be honest and be yourself.
asb818 14
Aren't ALL of these FMLs one sided? Going to an inexpensive restaurant is an easy way to spend some time together getting to know each other a little better. No matter where the "date" is I would think honesty should be expected. Why assume a dinner date would create an atmosphere of being someone you're not?
YooEfO 4
I was only guessing the reason of why he left. Maybe they set the date up from some online dating site, and she was pretty online, but was a lot uglier in person.
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe he was abducted by aliens in the bathroom...
DanielleinDC 34
Come on, he didn't have to ditch her in the middle of dinner and stick her with the bill! That's just rude. I hope this gets out in OP's social circle as a warning not to date this guy 'cause he might just ditch you.
CharresBarkrey 16
Jesus, YooEfO, you are incredibly negative.
YooEfO 4
Well when it comes to girls. I been through a lot of bitches. So I put myself in his situation and assume there was a good reason why he did that.
perdix 31
Maybe he fell in . . . or maybe he crapped his pants and decided to hide in the bathroom until you leave. Nevertheless, you have two meals to eat. Chow down, champ!
poccocurantes 7
Yeah I was thinking possibly shit himself. You don't come back from that one. Or heroin overdose in the stall. He is probably on the can right now with a rubber tube wrapped around his arm.