Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML
Today, I took my 8 month-old to Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML
Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
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Top comments
Lobster_fml 0
That's your fault. Wouldn't you know that you are constipated?
craigahh 0
That's why you should live in Canada.
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Comments (185)
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Way to overreact about minor pains. This actually makes me a tiny (tiny tiny tiny) bit glad we don't have free healthcare in the US. Think of all the hypochondriacs!
HyperFlirt 0
Oh jeez, I know exactly the cramps you're talking about! I've had them before, but fortunately (for me) I just ignored them. Sucks for you though, so sorry!
pushinglimits_fml 0
YES! this is great
kissothis 6
look at how close the "i agree, your life is f***ed" vs. "YDI."
KaiUmi 0
Stomach pains can be real serious. Better to spend $400 to find out you're alright than to find out you have to spend more for serious medication/surgery. Eat more whole wheat bread. :D
ronnie8701 0
well YDI for living in America and having to deal with that health-care system. Come live in Canada and you'd get that for free!
1010155 0
wow you're a real hardass.
i_like_chicks 0
WOW it never ceases to surprise how stupid some people are. if i get sick all of a sudden i google it before i see anyone o.O
Osakhomen 0
Would you have rathered it been cancer? Or something deadly? I'm sure a lot of people wished their stomach pains was just constipation.
nomadxx7 0
Eh I got this one beat. I went to the doctors because I thought I had appendicitis. I was having trouble standing and terrible pain in the area where my appendix was. I went to the doctor's office and got a pretty hot doctor. Needless to say she didn't really know what was wrong but was going to check if I was constipated or something along that nature. She stuck her finger up my ass and at the same time I farted. Talk about embarassing... so yeah, I think I got your million dollar shit beat.