Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
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Top comments
IllegalLight 0
zing!
intensitive 11
One word: Fiber.
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Comments (136)
waterynuggets 0
Mom win. Though I've never heard of anyone having an "abnormal" amount of stool in them..
lettertjes 0
Well usually, the 'abnormal' word isn't used by doctors. But it happens pretty regularly that people are so constipated that it gives them cramps. And indeed: mom win.
waterynuggets 0
True, I actually didn't even think of constipation. D'oh!
RaKum12 0
hahaha ur mom is awesome
AVainAttempt 0
The game
HoesInaBox 0
damn it! ihy ^
shadow455 2
yes op fyl for having no sense of humour and being unable to laugh at your self
justmeagirl 0
AAAHahahahah. That's a 'My Life Rocks' for having a funny-as-hell mom who makes you laugh when you're sick :)
Secret_Fire_King 0
hahaha.. Your mum is funny.. but your life is not ******.. Unless, there something else we don't know about.. Therefore, I'ma hafta say: YDI, for sharing information with funny people..
tisiphone_fml 0
So true. I'm sorry... but your mom has a quick wit and a GREAT sense of humor.
betchinballer 0
this same thing happened to my brother XD
happysmartg 5
total win. lol
Fuckedyourlifean 0
Screw you AVainAttempt! You made me loose the game!!!
IllegalLight 0
zing!
HeresReality 0
win for your mom
OBTrice 15
She saw the opportunity and took it
intensitive 11
One word: Fiber.
jennatailia 0
You're so full of shit your eyes are brown?
stewie1744 0
dumbass
saucey12 1
snap lol
wryguy2765 8
I always use a joke along those lines whenever someone, including myself, is constipated
Chris_Says 0
Could've been worse. You could have ended up so backed up that your faeces ended up in your stomach and you started vomiting them. Good ol' reverse peristalsis.
SkaterChic 0
i remember an FML along those lines :p
greenltrn2003 0
I was actually thinking about that one yesterday.......which says alot about my life/mind hmmmmmm.... anyway MOM FTW!
sjisje 0
i was thinkin' about that today lol
unctarheel529 0
can that actually happen
fawfulster 11
I also thought about that one. LOL
SkaterChic 0
LMFAOO
happypapp12 0
Can't believe your husband could do such a thing. (spiderman is officially dead people! Spiderman is dead!)
FerrariCake 2
My favorite comments are the ones that belong with another FML.
containsnosoy 0
lol, Whaaat?
Leprecon 3
Come on, it was the perfect setup for that joke ... Can you really blame her ?
damnwtfdude 0
Exactly - how often do you get to make that joke? I know I wouldn't pass it up
hoopstar15 0
hahahahah I wish my mom would say stuff like that
pechi_305 7
My mom wouldn't definitely say something like that and I'd think it was hilarious. Lol
pechi_305 7
Would* sorry
dacman48 0
OP's mom=epic win!