Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I realized why my sister has had so many fluids coming out of her, yet I was sick too and nothing was coming out. It's because everything I ate in the past 72 hours was piling up in my ass, and just came out as a monster 5 times bigger than normal, and left my ass on fire for 45 minutes straight. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML
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Top comments
joeyl1990 28
You probably shouldn't have eaten a family sized bag of anything for lunch but at least you had people shoving fingers up your butt.
onceuponatime456 16
ID 10 T
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Comments (14)
joeyl1990 28
You probably shouldn't have eaten a family sized bag of anything for lunch but at least you had people shoving fingers up your butt.
Joshua Isaiah 11
Don't take this the wrong way but maybe a while bag of spicy Cheetos isn't the best lunch, OP. I know you nurses don't get a lot of time to eat but bringing legitimate food for a meal is important. a proper meal will keep your energy levels more stable and perhaps even help you avoid the magma diarreah? lmao
onceuponatime456 16
ID 10 T
Glowworm56 27
Let that be a lesson to you then. Don't eat a family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls for lunch.
Norja 33
Try eating a proper meal next time
RockPrincess26 16
Ummmm.... Ew.
Lobby_Bee 18
Damn those spicy cheese curls! Once you start, you can't stop until they are all gone.
Chipstet 3
I LOVE cheese curds. Not familiar with a “Red,Spicy” version. Please share the name as would love to order some!!!!
EnvyMe33 26
Being a nurse you should be able to tell between bloody shit and red spicy cheese curds.
Emma1562 35
**** the doctors’ lives