Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML
Today, I took my 8 month-old to Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML
Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
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Top comments
Lobster_fml 0
That's your fault. Wouldn't you know that you are constipated?
craigahh 0
That's why you should live in Canada.
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Comments (185)
skiesofgreen 0
This is why you should live in a country where they don't make you pay to stay healthy. As for the people saying he should have taken a crap, if he was constipated he wouldn't have been able too... he might just have assumed the the fact nothing was moving meant he didn't need to go rather than that he COULDN'T go.
Osakhomen 0
My comment was deleted! WTF As I said before: Would you rather it been something more serious? I don't see how it's FML at all, and not really a YDI...
skiesofgreen 0
#56 I agree our healthcare system generally speaking sucks (it does vary a little from province to province so I can't really speak for the country as a whole) but there are plenty of countries that are both free and efficient, not to mention I'd rather find some other way to regulate unnecessary hospital trips than leaving people in a situation where they can't get the treatment they desperately need... anyone want to move to Europe with me? preferably somewhere warm and sunny?
raabhimself 0
#44, it's not necessarily the OP's fault that they live in America, or wherever they could be posting from. You actually sound more or less like a prick, by saying its one countries fault for not having free health care. I think its great, but keep in mind people abuse it, and the tax payer suffers.. In some ways the american system works better, weeds out the annoying ones that bitch about every little sniffle, but its also bad because those who actually need help can't get it.. There's no win win.. But still Canada's free health care blows, and that comes from a fellow canadian
curryndricegirll 0
Haha. I had the same thing happen to me. But they usually give you laxatives or something so that you're not constipated anymore. They tested the feces as well or something. Of course, I was only six years old at that time. I also don't think it was that expensive when they did it.
Frlf 0
#47 WINS.
fortunecookie_fml 0
yep, happened to me too. my parents payed my hospital bills for four years. I also had a weird reaction to imodium though... haha.
Edmund_Dantes 0
For all the idiots saying you don't pay for health care up north... what's the tax rate in Canada?
MoobyTheCow 2
Someone failed at giving you the abdominal exam.
I_Hate_Cars 0
Haha sorry i think these are the lyrics Icarasaly: Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea Yeah, Pepto Bismol.