Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
"Better out than in" -Shrek
MolesterStallone 13
I have a feeling he wasn't listening!
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Comments (119)
ehllychan 10
And how exactly does a fart has anything to do with caring? So people choose when they want to fart now? Please tell me more about how you all also completely stop your urge to use the bathroom, yawn, cough, sneeze and burp at will as well.
Kiki242 19
It is possible to hold a fart in you know.
snakeassault 0
42 - It may slip if you've been holding it back since the rant began.
SeeNote 1
Real classy.
olpally 33
What an asshat... Seriously, don't take that kind of shit from him and consider dumping him if your relationship continues to descend to the bowels of hell...
grapist111 4
No relationship us perfect. If it was that bad, OP would have already dumped her bf...
jelly713 19
People don't always leave those "crappy" relationships.
olpally 33
You read way too much into my comment... I know that no relationship is perfect, he seems a bit immature if that's his reaction to her wanting to talk to him... I used puns in my comment if you couldn't tell and I just said to consider "dumping" him if he continues to ignore her pleas to talk things out like adults. Just saying.
gloria89108 1
That is Definitly a sign to MOVE On !!!!!!
littlemsweirdo 12
Break up with him immediately for having a natural insinct to fart? Great reason there!
The_Thinker 18
At least this whole situation hasn't gone to shit yet, OP.
cooterpie 11
Possibly a shart.
Whistlee 8
It's quite an interesting response.
dathan 14
Dump him. Farting is something unnatural and everyone who does it is gross and does not deserve a relationship. I'm being sarcastic, for the retards among us. I think OP is a winer. (:
amandajlucas2015 2
Lol funny
bethanybunny_fml 4
Fart back? But that could backfire and he might think you're Fiona and Shrek where your mud bathing in your own stench... I'm sorry :c
Meow_Bitches 7
Idk why but that made me laugh *facepalm* Im so stupid XDDD
SanityIsOverated 3
Farts are serious business *sarcasm*
S182 15
Tell him to cut the shit.