Kids: Germ warfare

Germ warfare

By kallens - 17/01/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

agreeclassic 24 803

vote type 1 2 558

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By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

agreeclassic 14 021

vote type 1 28 657

By carl_carl_ - 13/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

agreeclassic 28 843

vote type 1 2 204

By -.- - 20/09/2013 23:58 - United States - Lakeside

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

agreeclassic 42 578

vote type 1 2 902

By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

agreeclassic 20 278

vote type 1 5 152

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

agreeclassic 15 942

vote type 1 44 883

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

agreeclassic 39 182

vote type 1 5 818

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

agreeclassic 40 424

vote type 1 3 130

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

agreeclassic 13 102

vote type 1 40 072

By Tiff676 - 16/08/2009 04:31 - Canada

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

agreeclassic 42 971

vote type 1 2 677

By Ren - 27/01/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

agreeclassic 28 156

vote type 1 2 196

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:48

That's assault. I would have drop kicked the little ******.

Narelon 12

Thursday 30 May 2013 12:18

I absolutely HATE dealing with shitty little brats that don't bother to cover their mouth / nose when they cough or sneeze.

Comments

HeyThatsMySoc 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 5:29

...& then...you slapped him & showed him discipline...right?

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:48

That's assault. I would have drop kicked the little ******.

24788 6

Friday 1 May 2009 8:19

Lol, swine flu.

Fuck_The_Police 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 22:41

Ahahahaha Im crazy!!!

iFruit 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 7:05

I would have "accidentally" sneezed, and "accidentally" pushed him into the pool.

stewpididiot 11

Friday 26 March 2010 10:09

You should have found his 'rents and bitch slapped the **** out of them and then spit on them.

vespero 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 21:01

why is this in the "love" category?

chrisoc16 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:46

Pedophile....

purplepillow467 3

Thursday 26 August 2010 4:18

whoa top ten omg but yahh I would hav moved when he started speaking to get in his face so he can cough right in it ydi

WTSchool 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 2:28

I'm sure you dd finish, OP. (:

msmandy 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 3:40

not really an FML.... it's just sucks.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I told my unemployed boyfriend to pick a town anywhere in the country that he thinks he can find work in. I offered to find myself a job there, find a flat, and pay for rent, bills, and food while he looks. He said I was selfish for wanting him to hurry up. It's been three years. FML

agreeclassic 4 539

vote type 1 1 376

Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML

agreeclassic 9 193

vote type 1 1 127

Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML

agreeclassic 1 251

vote type 1 257

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

agreeclassic 48 911

vote type 1 5 825

Today, my dad tried to charge me $3000 for a car that my dead grandma, his mother, left to me in her will. I have to live with this asshole. FML

agreeclassic 2 124

vote type 1 130

Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML

agreeclassic 521

vote type 1 94

Germ warfare

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