Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_insertnamehere_ 0
well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...
josface 0
Poor kids.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
Dogmaw 0
Dude, fly that flag high and proud. If they single out my schlong in the airport, I'm goin' into my Superman pose.
terrta_merrta 0
attention! attention!, evacuate the airport, there is a terrorist with a cumgun
randomdude1234 0
It makes me sad how stupid people are.
I'madumbass 19
I find it sad and halarious!!! Trust me. if it wasn't halarious, this app/website wouldn't have been created.
bigwaves6000 0
HAHAHAHAHAH DUDE HOLY SHIT, they ******* see the bulge and take it as gun, so the rubb it with the ****** skanner !! in front of pfuckin people too hahahahah dude imagine if you creamed your pants at that time youd like fall and it be hysterical fuuck im stoned
randomriot 0
So I've read the majority of these, and they state boners can happen at anytime. So why are people freaking out about it? I think its quite funny! LMAO @ # 107! ...but that sucks...fyl though....
AnneFTW 17
Hahahaha that really sucks!
FreedomFirst 0
Did you threaten to sue him for harassment? You should have. That's uncalled for unless you had keys in your crotch or something making the wand beep. Lol @103
shmaller 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PredyJessica 0
i agree with number 20 lol seriously o.o"
MetalCraze 11
DUDE YOU DO NOT HAVE A BIG ERECTIOn if you need you wouldn't need to post about it online get a life