Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
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Top comments
_insertnamehere_ 0
well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...
josface 0
Poor kids.
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Comments (178)
_insertnamehere_ 0
well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...
billyhirvine09 0
#1 pretty much wins at life
soccrplease 1
agreed
Herropreez17 0
TSA horse shit... ITS A PENIS YOU DUMB ****!! ITS ONLY GOING TO EXPLODE IF YOU KEEP RUBBING IT!!!
THEsuperMANLYman 10
Atleast u have a big D
fmlAllStar7274 0
#1 ftw!!!!!!
breenarae25 0
WTF ur 2, can u count??
changesinme 0
He was typing it when someone else got to press the comment button faster. I guess you didn't even bother to think before commenting.
KatieKhaos 0
No, he just said that #1 was awesome, not that he was first, otherwise it would be something like " ZOMG i r first!!!1!!!one!!"
josface 0
Poor kids.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
haha that sucks wait... what was turning you on at the AIRPORT!?!?!?
I'madumbass 19
I would like to know this too. Follow up, anyone?
catacombhome 0
At least your erection got some attention. Some people would kill for a monster like yours.... Shame on you for getting upset.
hpodity 0
He probably thought it was a dangerous cucumber wrapped in tinfoil
nessa69_fml 0
wow.
beaverdogmouse 0
HAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE YOU
mohomonopoly 0
hahahahahaha :D oh those male penises :)
I'madumbass 19
Male penises? You saying females are supposed to have them too?
Go_for_it 0
#9, as opposed to what other kind of penises?