Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
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Top comments
_insertnamehere_ 0
well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...
josface 0
Poor kids.
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Comments (178)
steph_kat 1
You can spin this in your favor, seriously.
theforeignone 0
dear #9: WTF, male penises? as if penises had a gender.
24788 7
It happens to everyone at some point.
alcohol89 0
the scientific name is NRB No Reason Boner
spillproof 0
#73. What? Do you need Viagra or something? "totally random out of the blue boners" can happen at any age. OP: That is really funny. Sorry you had to be searched and have people notice your untimely erection.
cheerthefkupism 0
Y(probably)DI. What the hell was so awesome going through airport security that you were getting wood, man?
FadedPurplez 0
Very stiff, and also very dangerous! D: FYL
zymn 6
@20: you sound like some porno director. OP: i will wait for the porno.
spirited_away33 0
I feel bad for the kids. You probably traumatised them for life.
hunkydory 0
am i the only one really disgusted by this? the man was at an airport with his kids and wife and he's getting boners! nothing at a ******* airport should be giving you boners when you're with your family!!!