Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years-old and got beat up by a group of 10 year-olds. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, I was visiting my in-laws and sharing a room with my husband's 17-year-old sister. Later that night she and her brother of 24 years started fist-fighting over an air mattress and I had to pull them off each other. The brother later berated me with, "You can't handle any pressure!" FML
Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
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Top comments
727Aaron727 0
A 21 year old fighting over candy, was it a thousand dollar bar?
YaboyVinnie 21
Your sister apparently has the Peter-Griffin syndrome.
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Comments (153)
hotpinkpepsi 6
lmfao it's illiteracy season
Friaza 29
Maybe she's the Jigoku Shojo...
officeradvil 8
@10 apparently beat the crap out of a 6 year old and his sister. :/
LiveLaughFML 10
if that's the way your sister deals with young children, let's just hope she doesn't reproduce.
FarSide 23
Your sister must be fat as a hippo. Never get between a hippo and it's candy.
qazaq 1
What a dumb sister, she should know you can't win an argument with a child without a belt... Jkjk
auriane_fml 19
I know exactly how you feel. This always happens with my 19 year old brother and my 9 year old brother. FYl and get a new sister.
Thunderbender 2
Your brother, keepin his pimp hand strong. Ya gotta start early.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Geez. I read this wrong at first and thought it was the six year old saying it, and I found it kind of adorable. But it was the adult?! Pick your battles.
_Oblivion_ 12
4 what the **** are you talking about, know when to keep that kiddie **** hentai wutever shit to urself
Bobissmall 13
It's 4am so forgive me if i sound really stupid, however. A fight? As in an argument? Because how do you get battered to shit in an argument? Am i the only one who thought OPs sister is actually physically abusing their 6 year old brother?
Ashelizabethh 8
@ 53 if only it was that easy to go get a new sister. its not exactly something you pick out... like say.. your candy.
BelleBelle_fml 11
What does illiteracy have to do with this FML? I'm thinking you're the illiterate one here.
gojira666 7
Wow. 21.....get a ****** life. Fighting a small boy for candy. Grow up.
auriane_fml 19
@81 You shouldn't take everything seriously.
Didpetercall 9
Your sister is a bitch
Aero_x 21
#4, It's kind of sad that I understand this reference and the lame joke you tried to make out of it...Being an Otaku and the useless knowledge I have -_-"
727Aaron727 0
A 21 year old fighting over candy, was it a thousand dollar bar?
oneleggedbeauty 0
100 grand** is the name of the candy bar. Your pun is pointless
727Aaron727 0
^ your ugly so ur comment is pointless
oneleggedbeauty 0
Actually I'm quite attractive, if you met me in person(: so kindly **** off your existence is pointless
whatsittuya 2
Maybe skittles? That would make sense. Or starburst.
Sirin_fml 47
@727Aaron727: Good job on combining a toddler's grammar with a toddler's insult. It is very authentic!
nixter5 18
How fat is your sister?
StoryOfTheYear 15
2- Actually, most bars are upwards of a hundred grand or two Maybe more if it's a corner bar
farhil 14
Now i want to know what he said :/
SirObvious 1
Those "candys" keep her from catching pregnancy:((
diceplaya 12
Op, are you sure you didnt mix up your sibilings ages, because your sister acted like a child.
Frijolero_92 1
Shit got serious
krazy_glu3 0
Nobody better lay a finger on her Butterfinger.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
107- I've always thought that phrase sounded vaguely dirty.
hchardman 0
Idk, I don't blame the girl, ive faught kids over candy before. Several times,
ace82297 0
That's weak.And how old are you?
ace82297 0
Not a grammar nazi but "faught" are you serious?
Liamj774 36
You're right, it was probably a 100Grand bar Gotta love that candy
JJBean92 13
You mean a thousand *grand bar
saIty 17
Those "candies" make her a genius. She didn't want her brother to be lil' Einstein.
bizarre_ftw 22
Holy hell!! >< mental pic of an ODed 6 year old!!! Wtf?!!!! I'm gonna have issues thanks to that!!! >,>
chahacha599 0
Must be on her period... :/
Blahborg 0
Or the more likely reason is that she's a psycho bitch? I sure don't pick fights with 6 year olds when I'm on my rag. What a dude thing to say.
screamo_neve 12
Correction: OP is a female.
zachherbert 10
.
iAintEvenMad 0
63- You're ******** me bro. I would've NEVER thought OP was a female!
Lauren10102 3
There is, in fact, the worst place in hell for candy thiefs!
feranmi101 0
Amen to that I bet candy thieves go wearing gasoline soaked pants a match and a empty wrapper of juicy fruit gum :-/
BelleBelle_fml 11
Yep, it's right next to where plankers go.
sandi315 0
Shut up ******
YaboyVinnie 21
Your sister apparently has the Peter-Griffin syndrome.
anongrl 2
Peter- my candy....mine.... Get your own! *farts in face and takes off running and laughing* That's probably what Peter would do if you jacked his candy. Or have an opie Taylor fit.
leearm104 4
I would expect something funnier from Peter.
DeathMaple 3
That must have been some really good candy.
Buttsexpirate 9
Must've been the golden ticket.
wannabeperfect1 0
there's nothin wrong with fighting over candy. candy can do crazy thing to a person, especially good candy. :)
Wheredidgrungego 12
Meth is NOT candy.
bizarre_ftw 22
Are you talking chocolate or heroin?! Cuz I think the OP's sister is annoyed that her Godiva is gone.....
Amrel 10
The candy had a golden ticket to go to the wonka factory
bizarre_ftw 22
& the brother ate it :( Lol :D