Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
All over the place
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Treat yourself
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Wedding of the year
Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML
Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?
XxXPeace2thelose 0
well that's sucks =P
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Comments (161)
nerdsgetmehot 23
Aw man, that's awful. I sleepwalk/make motions in my sleep too, so I know that there's really no way to prevent it. It sucks!
gasbreakdipdip 0
the only problem with nerds is that they come in 15sec
nerdsgetmehot 23
#53 Oh, I beg to differ. Some nerds are serious studs ;)
gasbreakdipdip 0
lol
gasbreakdipdip 0
well I gess I'm kind of a nerd. what typ of nerds are you talking about
nerdsgetmehot 23
#96 I suppose mostly Star Wars/Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings/Firefly/literature nerds. :P
RedPillSucks 33
ooohh You watch Firefly? I had the hots for the black chick and the Ninja chick.
gasbreakdipdip 0
hhmm well I'm more of a videogame nerd but I do love to read
nerdsgetmehot 23
#113 I love Firefly! I had the hots for the mechanic chick. #116 Reading rules!
alicevictoria 0
sucks to be you.
WilliamRTW 0
lol!!! I'm sorry that must of sucke :)
FYLDeep 26
OP, don't you think you're a little old for wet dreams?
kh2soldier 1
loser
seanreddog 4
Do you get your wife wet?
WilliamRTW 0
1 the wife wast under him? he was prob laying on side or got like that. 2 why is he a loser? everyone does something in their sleep that is weird.. 3 he didt wet himself he spilt his drink?
tasha_caliente 0
lol
WilliamRTW 0
:)
LOLinurFACE111 0
Yo that sucks. I'd b SO pissed if my iPhone was ruined.