Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
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Top comments
green2go 14
That's a pain in the ass
DocBastard 40
Good luck healing your second asshole with a third asshole in the house.
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Comments (169)
superminty 18
Cysts are already unpleasant enough, especially anywhere down there. Sorry OP.
graffitied_love 20
What is a cyst? I know I could google it, but the users on this site are so much more creative
DocBastard 40
It's a pilonidal cyst. I could explain, but it would actually be easier (and far more educational) for you to look it up.
bunny911 16
34: It's like a big, nasty, permanent zit, but rock solid.
missbrad 4
It's like a tumor, but "its not a tumor!"
creampie18 5
A cyst is caused by an ingrown hair. The hair begins to grow inwards causing the area to become infected. The infection causes puss and bacteria to build up in a small cavity under the skin. This makes the cyst feel rock hard. A doctor can easily remove it by cutting a slit into the cyst, then draining it and finally removing the ingrown hair. The hole left behind must be packed with gauze everyday until the hole closes up.
bReLiNg 18
Not necessarily, I had mine stitched. Though it was on my face. And I don't grow a beard, mine was caused from hardcore chewing my cheeks. I'd push on them so I could gnaw away.
k_ninjaa 9
your sister is evil
olpally 33
What an asshole... Punch her in the boobs! Or **** punt... Your choice...
mikepzz 27
you could always give her a purple nurple the next time her hormones kick in...
severe_fml 3
Take a shit in her bed (more effective than on). That will do the trick.
winnerme123 8
I happened to be taking a crap while reading this.
Accuraxy 10
Reading FMLs while on the toilet is a lifestyle.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Severe, just no.
traveler_ghost 12
Kick that bitch in the ******
samsaf1989 5
I clenched my butt cheeks together when I read this. This is definitely one of those, long sharp nails scratching a black board moment.
traveler_ghost 12
Kick that bitch in the ******
traveler_ghost 12
Kick that bitch in the ******
Pandacupcakelove 26
What a bitch! Why would she do that!? I have fights with my siblings too, but this? FYL OP. I hope your sister grows up!